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When a scared young man defies tradition by refusing death from the woman who mated with him he must find a way to escape the cities retribution.
The premise seams strange not sure what the man is trying to do, stay alive? If so this a generic aspiration that most characters have, how is this different or interesting? The setup seams convoluted and unclear as this is obviously a made up society in which ritual post coital killing is practicedRead more
The premise seams strange not sure what the man is trying to do, stay alive? If so this a generic aspiration that most characters have, how is this different or interesting?
The setup seams convoluted and unclear as this is obviously a made up society in which ritual post coital killing is practiced. But where, when, why? The plausibility of the setup is held in doubt on first read of the logline and indicates a potential fundamental problem with the concept.
Sorry for the lack of positive notes but I figured best to be honest, hope you can appreciate this.
Hope this helps.
See lessTwenty years after the unexplained disappearance of five children, a grubby private investigator and his straight-laced daughter get tangled up in the case, taking on the mob, decade old secrets and the gritty underworld of 60's America.
The plot is unclear. What exactly will the PI do? What exactly does he need to achieve? Find the missing persons? Find their bodies? Catch the kidnapers? Also what are the stakes? What will happen if he fails to achieve his goal? Equally, what will happen if he succeeds? Hope this helps.
The plot is unclear. What exactly will the PI do? What exactly does he need to achieve? Find the missing persons? Find their bodies? Catch the kidnapers?
Also what are the stakes? What will happen if he fails to achieve his goal? Equally, what will happen if he succeeds?
Hope this helps.
See lessA directionless raft guide enlists his professional athlete friends to help him find a mysterious woman in the forest who called upon him to save her, then disappeared.
Good point raised by David. Inciting incident should precede the action.
Good point raised by David.
See lessInciting incident should precede the action.