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  1. Posted: July 6, 2015In: Public

    After drawing the death card from an ancient tarot deck a skeptical young woman must use the other cards to escape her fate.

    FFF Mentor
    Added an answer on July 7, 2015 at 12:37 am

    Hello, I suggest to change the inciting event into "drawing a bad set of cards" or something like this because the deat card doesn't mean death as the previous comment says. But the main problem is in the second part of the logline which is too vague. You describe a symbolic pattern but you should dRead more

    Hello, I suggest to change the inciting event into “drawing a bad set of cards” or something like this because the deat card doesn’t mean death as the previous comment says. But the main problem is in the second part of the logline which is too vague. You describe a symbolic pattern but you should describe more clearly what wee see in the movie. How is she attacked or concretely doomed by the bad tarots? How the tarots can help her to escape her fate?

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  2. Posted: June 30, 2015In: Public

    A world class triathlon athlete competes in a town where he was a torturer in his former life. Karma catches up, not only with him, but his whole team.

    David W
    Added an answer on July 6, 2015 at 9:01 pm

    The second half of your logline reads more like a retrospective tagline. Try something that links in the main character and his goal better. eg: When a world class triathlon athlete's career brings him back to the town he committed heinous crimes in he must fight to avoid the consequences of his misRead more

    The second half of your logline reads more like a retrospective tagline. Try something that links in the main character and his goal better.
    eg: When a world class triathlon athlete’s career brings him back to the town he committed heinous crimes in he must fight to avoid the consequences of his mispent youth.

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  3. Posted: June 29, 2015In: Public

    A man secretly aware of his wife's affair with his rich and handsome boss, plots to murder him and eventually poison his wife and himself.

    Added an answer on July 6, 2015 at 5:21 pm

    Hi guys ... I'm new to writing loglines and your guidelines (however blunt they may be) are really helpful. All noted. Do keep them coming. Thanks a ton :)

    Hi guys … I’m new to writing loglines and your guidelines (however blunt they may be) are really helpful. All noted. Do keep them coming. Thanks a ton 🙂

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