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An aging war criminal seeks his redemption by helping a group of troubled misfits whilst trying to survive brutal persecution from someone he wronged in the past.
This remind me of Gran Torino, a movie that I love. I'm posting the logline here, direct from imdb to you see how clear is: "Disgruntled Korean War veteran Walt Kowalski sets out to reform his neighbor, a Hmong teenager who tried to steal Kowalski's prized possession: a 1972 Gran Torino." I think yoRead more
This remind me of Gran Torino, a movie that I love. I’m posting the logline here, direct from imdb to you see how clear is: “Disgruntled Korean War veteran Walt Kowalski sets out to reform his neighbor, a Hmong teenager who tried to steal Kowalski’s prized possession: a 1972 Gran Torino.” I think you should try to get more specific, show us the particularities of your story, who is the MC, who is after him. I think with more details we can immerse ourselves in history more easily.
See lessWhen deep brain trauma escalates a literary gifted teens perception of recovery to a pain crippling head he creatively channels the aid of a science fictional character to restore his identity a locked coma
Confusing I believe the first step in helping this logline would be to give the character a goal, what is the character actively trying to achieve through his actions?
Confusing
I believe the first step in helping this logline would be to give the character a goal, what is the character actively trying to achieve through his actions?
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The last draft of the logline is even more cryptic than the first - there are too many unclear elements lacking a cause and effect. Use a different description to "...literary gifted..." - most people don't know what that means, it seems to have little if no impact on the plot and isn't an understanRead more
The last draft of the logline is even more cryptic than the first – there are too many unclear elements lacking a cause and effect.
Use a different description to “…literary gifted…” – most people don’t know what that means, it seems to have little if no impact on the plot and isn’t an understandable flaw that indicates an inner journey for the MC.
Give him a different inciting incident, or describe it in clear terms – escalating someone’s perception of a recovery is vague most people reading this would have no idea what it means.
Give him a different course of action or describe it in another way. How does he channel a fictional character? This is unclear? Is the MC a fictional character? Does he live in a fictional universe?
How does finding his identity connect to any of the elements described in the concept? Is there a different more concrete goal you can give the MC to achieve?
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