Penpusher
Posted: 2012-09-09T12:26:08+10:00 In:

A blood spatter analyst by day / serial killer by night longs to share his dark secret, but can't for fear of losing those he loves…

Dexter

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    6 Reviews

    1. I kind of feel like the pizzazz and the hook of the premise has been “drained out” of this logline. I’d favor something like, “A serial killer with a conscience in the form of his dead father culls his victims from the most wanted list of the Miami Police Department where he works.”

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    2. Penpusher

      for me Dexter is about his fear of being truly known…

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    3. Penpusher

      which is a universal fear….

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    4. Penpusher

      A serial killer, loved by many, fears being truly known…

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    5. Well, it may be about that to you, but I don’t know if “A Serial killer fears being truly known,” is going to get a studio exec to write a big check. Just IMHO.

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    6. Penpusher

      The question is, should a logline express the hero’s need or desire… the inner or the outer journey?

      127 Hours: With his hand trapped under a boulder in a remote canyon, Aron Ralston faces the greatest dilemma of his life?cut it off or die.?

      This states his outward goal. His inner journey, his moral and psychological revelations that his ‘supreme selfishness’ has hurt those he loves and is now killing him… isn’t stated in the logline.

      Neither is the theme: that the whole world, from the sun to insects to water to human life, are interconnected.

      So, in that respect, your logline stating the outward goal is correct.

      However, for me, the inner journey is more fascinating, and is what grips me to Dexter. The fact that we hear his thoughts (very clever from the writers) endears us to him.

      You’re right, maybe studio execs wouldn’t write a check, but I think everyone relates to having thoughts and actions (dark passengers) they’d rather keep a secret.

      I’d still pitch it like I’ve said it. A logline isn’t supposed to get them to write a check, but get them to say ‘Tell me more.’

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