Victory Road
SaintPeterPenpusher
A boy with a serious heart condition must help his school soccer team win their first trophy in their history before the school board cuts all sports.
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There is a phenomenon where young athletes collapse and die during sports events, which I understand, is a heart condition. What if it is this heart condition that he has, and he risks dying if he plays the match?
Just a thought.
There is a phenomenon where young athletes collapse and die during sports events, which I understand, is a heart condition. What if it is this heart condition that he has, and he risks dying if he plays the match?
Just a thought.
Do not change nothing it is very god logline!
Do not change nothing it is very god logline!
Good re work of OP’s logline and good call on placing the inciting incident at the begging of the logline. I think though that the stakes need further clarification by letting the heart condition present a choice the MC must make between 2 irreconcilable goods.
When his school threatens to de-fund sports, a soccer phenom with a serious heart condition must choose between leading his team to their first championship or a crucial procedure in a far away hospital.?
Good re work of OP’s logline and good call on placing the inciting incident at the begging of the logline. I think though that the stakes need further clarification by letting the heart condition present a choice the MC must make between 2 irreconcilable goods.
When his school threatens to de-fund sports, a soccer phenom with a serious heart condition must choose between leading his team to their first championship or a crucial procedure in a far away hospital.?
“When his school threatens to de-fund sports, a soccer phenom with a serious heart condition vows to lead his team to their first championship, while keeping his condition a secret.”
“When his school threatens to de-fund sports, a soccer phenom with a serious heart condition vows to lead his team to their first championship, while keeping his condition a secret.”