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woodssw
Posted: January 19, 20132013-01-19T14:24:00+10:00 2013-01-19T14:24:00+10:00In: Public

A dedicated doctor?s shameful secret endangers his family.

Mortal Secrets

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    4 Reviews

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    1. sharkeatingman
      2013-01-20T15:58:14+10:00Added an answer on January 20, 2013 at 3:58 pm

      Woodssw- the goal; protecting his family…from what? You have room for ten more words before you start running into trouble. I’d use them to let us know the danger (stakes), and either the secret or the reason for the grudge- or both.

      Geno Scala- sharkeatingman; judge

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    2. woodssw
      2013-01-20T14:29:49+10:00Added an answer on January 20, 2013 at 2:29 pm

      Better? A dedicated doctor must protect his family and his compromising secret from a maverick corporate spy who?s carrying a grudge.

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    3. 2013-01-20T14:25:39+10:00Added an answer on January 20, 2013 at 2:25 pm

      Better? A dedicated doctor must protect his family and his compromising secret from a maverick corporate spy who’s carrying a grudge.

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    4. Richiev Singularity
      2013-01-19T15:10:18+10:00Added an answer on January 19, 2013 at 3:10 pm

      You are going to need more than this.

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