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dutchlegend1486
Posted: September 4, 20132013-09-04T18:50:40+10:00 2013-09-04T18:50:40+10:00In: Public

A detective turns to alcohol while battling to keep joint custody of his child however when an elusive serial killer comes on the scene leaving only a family photo as a clue, The detective will soon realise both situations ask the same question what is truly best for the child?

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    6 Reviews

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    1. almiiitey Penpusher
      2013-09-04T20:35:27+10:00Added an answer on September 4, 2013 at 8:35 pm

      The irony of the detective and the serial killer having a common issue was a good hook for me for your logline. I have a few questions. The serial killer leaves behind a family photo as a clue–do you mean a photo of his family? I assume so but want to be sure–if so that would be a very big clue. Has the detective been hired to track the serial killer? Your logline notes the serial killer “comes on the scene”–I’m not sure I know what that means.

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    2. dutchlegend1486
      2013-09-04T21:27:29+10:00Added an answer on September 4, 2013 at 9:27 pm

      Thank you for your comment I’m still working on it, The photo is of the victim’s family. When I said the serial killer comes on the scene I meant for it to be a catalyst for events which audience would think would add to the detective’s problems however ultimately by pursuing the serial killer he will find much more clarity and resolution as he gets closer to solving the case. I’m sorry if there is any silly mistakes but this my first time writing screenplays and just trying to figure it all out at the moment. Any advice and help is much appreciated.

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    3. dpg Singularity
      2013-09-05T04:19:21+10:00Added an answer on September 5, 2013 at 4:19 am

      A detective must overcome his alcoholism in order to find a serial rapist-killer before the killer kidnaps his next victim: the detective’s estranged son.

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    4. Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai
      2013-09-05T10:32:07+10:00Added an answer on September 5, 2013 at 10:32 am

      The causal link between the serial killer and his battle for custody is unclear.

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    5. almiiitey Penpusher
      2013-09-08T01:04:17+10:00Added an answer on September 8, 2013 at 1:04 am

      Congratulations on writing your first screenplay dutchlegend 1486. Hope comments from logline it members has been helpful. Any other questions for us?

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    6. almiiitey Penpusher
      2013-09-08T01:06:22+10:00Added an answer on September 8, 2013 at 1:06 am

      Oops, please change that second sentence to “Hope comments from logline it members HAVE been helpful.”

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