Break
A divorced, middle-aged man is unexpectedly given full custody of his two teenage kids after his ex-wife dies in a freak accident. In exchange for his kids' cooperation, he has to participate in their school's breakdance recital.
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The breakdancing idea certainly stands out, and dance and “comedy dad” movies are popular.
My impressions are that the story gets off to too-grim start. The mother dies and the father “unexpectedly” gets custody. That implies that there was a good reason why he get custody, if custody after the mother’s death is shock.
The reasons for his entering a breakdancing competition need to be stronger: he wants his kids’ cooperation is a reason, but you haven’t said what he wants their cooperation to do. Rob a bank? Launder money? Convince his girlfriend to marry him?
Genres are also very mixed: the story begins with a mother being killed (tragic drama), and a middle-aged man breakdancing to impress his kids (comedy).
Hi,
The idea has legs I just think the logline needs work. The fact that he needs to win his kids cooperation suggests they don’t respect him – why? Answering this will help provide your characters flaw. Next it’d be great to make the line more concise. For example:
Two teenagers force their absent father to participate in a high school break dance competition to prove his worth after he takes custody of them following their mothers untimely death
This isn’t great but gives you an idea.