The Bar
CraigDGriffithsUberwriter
A retired father and his daughter must forgive previous tensions to work together to prevent his other daughters from selling the family business.
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You should put the inciting incident first
“When his eldest daughter puts his beloved family bar on the market, a retired barkeep seeks the help of his estranged youngest daughter to convince her sibling not to sell.”
“When his eldest daughter puts his beloved family bar on the market, a retired barkeep reluctantly seeks the help of his estranged youngest daughter, who’s the only lawyer he can afford.”
Might need to add a B story here, like some important reason for not selling the bar.
I mean, imagine if they took out the discovery of the treasure map from The Goonies… that’s kind of what you have here at the moment.
There is a B story around his daughter and her life how she really loves her Dad but he prefers the other daughter.
The other daughter is manipulative but Dad loves her.
He gives his bar to his daughters. Two grab the opportunity, one leaves. Dad goes on holidays. When he gets back they are selling it. The daughter that left teams with Dad to prevent the sale. Lots of back and forth ending with Dad realising which daughter really loved him. But he had to lose his bar to do it.
So, King Lear?
Very much so. I love those structures. Macbeth makes a great framework for a drug war. Save the cat can kiss my ass, give me a Shakespeare structure any day.
Sometimes it’s best not to mess with the classics…
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macbeth_(2006_film)
So many structures are based on the bards work.
The recent series Empire is Lear, the Lion King is Macbeth right down to father”s ghost and the evil uncle. It’s all about making it new and your own.
“So many structures are based on the bards work.”
The structures in the majority of Shakespeare were already considered old by the time he got around to using them.
And you mean Hamlet…
Doh…. Hamlet my favourite and I got it wrong.
Neat.