A fighter pilot wakes in an isolation ward, suffering memory loss from an experiment she supposedly signed up for. She and the other patients are told they can leave as soon as their memories return, but when people start disappearing or ending up dead, they suspect something more sinister is going on.
LironahPenpusher
A fighter pilot wakes in an isolation ward, suffering memory loss from an experiment she supposedly signed up for. She and the other patients are told they can leave as soon as their memories return, but when people start disappearing or ending up dead, they suspect something more sinister is going on.
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A lead character should be proactive.
In your logline, things happen to the lead character but the lead character doesn’t do anything.
Less words.
After a fighter pilot wakes in a hospital ward suffering from memory loss, she must?find clues to what happened to her before she ends up dead along with the other patients.
It seems rather like many other films or shows that have characters waking up with amnesia, is there anything else that happens that makes it stand apart from the rest?
I don’t know if your a usual reader of this website but I read many ‘amnesia movie’ loglines here. The difference is mostly the place where the main character wakes up (often a ‘mysterious’ room). As a reader I must say that this loglline seems to vague to me. I would suggest you to build your movie from the end (do not spoil the end in the logline, but be sure to have a mind blowing ending at hand before writing the logline). This could help you to disseminate some clues in the logline that could attract the reader’s attention ad make the concept clear and original.
Agree with the others.
I especially like FFF’s suggestion to develop the story backwards. ? ?More than most, “amnesia” stories demand a Big Big Reveal, a Big Payoff on the premise.?