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Adrian524
Posted: August 10, 20132013-08-10T01:32:42+10:00 2013-08-10T01:32:42+10:00In: Public

A former commercial writer will stop at nothing to prove to his friends that he can stand on his own feet again.

Unconventionally Optimistic. Tv series. Pilot. Comedy.

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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2013-08-10T08:22:24+10:00Added an answer on August 10, 2013 at 8:22 am

      Adrian, I like the premise, but two things:

      One: “Stand on his own two feet” should probably be ramped up a bit. It isn’t compelling for a logline. What’s his ultimate goal? Write the great American novel? Become the vice president of an advertising company? Win the girl of his dreams? I think adding a little more punch to his goal will help sell the story.

      Two: What (or who) is standing in his way? Adding that will help your logline.

      I hope that helped, good luck with this!

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    2. Adrian524
      2013-08-10T09:11:02+10:00Added an answer on August 10, 2013 at 9:11 am

      you’re right, I’m gonna work on that, thanks for the advice.

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