Posted: 2013-07-12T12:41:44+10:00 In:

A high school kid becomes increasingly obsessed with cracking an enigmatic waffle house owner.

Wafle House

Share

    Post a review

    You must login to add an answer.

    To see everything,

    6 Reviews

    1. Penpusher

      interesting concept (comedy im guessing) but for a logline its missing a few key ingedients (waffle house themed pun)
      First off having your inciting incident – Why does the kid become increasingly obsessed with taking dow this waffle house owner, what did the owner do to deserve this? This usually happens in the first 15 pages of the screenplay
      You should also give you’re character a flaw if possible (does the kid have weakness he needs to overcome in order to take down the owner)
      What this needs most of all is a clear goal. Yes it is to take him down, but be a little more specific i.e does he want to destory his business, ruin an upcoming Waffle house day, burn down the building? It will just make your character and his goal a little clearer i think
      Hope this helps

      • 0
    2. Penpusher

      and when i wrote ‘taking down’ I meant cracking ha sorry about that

      • 0
    3. Penpusher

      Hi,

      agree with James Michael – right now I’m just picturing an angry kid who hates waffles…I can’t be sympathetic to someone who hates waffles! What’s the real motivation.

      thanks

      • 0

    4. What I’m going for is the kid has a key flaw that has manifested itself strongly in the mean and unhappy Waffle House owner. The kid can’t figure out what why he’s so interested in this guy though. Hmm, let me see how I can restructure this loglinge. Thanks so much!

      • 0
    5. Singularity

      I agree, adding the inciting incident to the logline will help, such as:
      —–
      “After discovering the local waffle house owner’s having an affair with his mother, an angry teen vows to take him down.”
      —–
      (Obviously your inciting incident will be different)

      Hope that helped, good luck with this!

      • 0

    6. After an enigmatic waffle house owner refuses to acknowledge his sign is misspelled, an entrepreneurial high school kid conspired with his best friend to make a profit on his secret recipe.

      My plot kind of changed a little over the months, so is this more concrete?

      • 0