A murdered teenage girl sacrifices eternal life so she can return as a ghost to protect her younger sister from being her murderer?s next victim.

kbfilmworks says: (Edit)

The protagonist is making a compelling sacrifice ? her own eternal soul. But is the younger sister at risk of eternal damnation or just at risk of losing her earthly life? I think the older sister?s sacrifice only works if the younger sister is on the verge of eternal damnation and the protagonist risks her own eternal life to save her. And if this is the case, is the protagonist ultimately not restored to eternal life for being willing to make such a great sacrifice?

Thanks for switching to the revised logline kbfilmworks.

I agree, having the protagonist save her younger sister’s eternal life, not just her mortal life, is a more compelling idea.

I had considered having the murdered girl’s eternal life restored as a reward for her sacrifice but I had an alternate idea that I hope you will review.

At the beginning of the film, I considered making the soon to be murdered girl a chess champion. At the end of the film, I envision her devising a brilliant strategy that saves her sister and restores her own immortal life. I wondered if that wouldn’t make a more compelling arc for the character–from a murdered victim to a brilliant hero who saves her own life.

You are right, I have not written the screenplay. I have written both ways–writing the story and then the logline, and, as in this case, writing the logline and then the script. Each approach results in a different type of storytelling. My best guess for genre at this point would be drama/mystery/thriller.

Thanks for your feedback Tony Edwards and kbfilmworks. I have enjoyed the beginning stages of this project and plan to move on to the outline stage to see if this logline can become a full story. Logline.it is such a valuable support. I will do my part and leave feedback for others to make sure this site continues to grow. Thanks again to you both.