Hip Hop Hit
A newly divorced Canadian fights for his life in the 1990's East/West Rap War after a chance meeting with Tupac Shakur.
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What has newly divorced got to do with anything about a rap war? It may add color to the character for the story as a whole but it doesn’t seem to add anything to the logline.
Why does the war have any relevance for your main character? How he is drawn into the conflict seems important, if his life is at stake.
After accidentally scratching a legendary gangster rapper’s car, a meek Canadian accountant’s forced into a freestyle rap battle: The stakes; his life!