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Nicholas Andrew HallsSamurai
Posted: September 5, 20122012-09-05T13:38:38+10:00 2012-09-05T13:38:38+10:00In: Public

A nurse helps two vampires rob a mobile blood bank.

Bad Blood (Short Film)

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    7 Reviews

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    1. Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai
      2012-09-06T10:12:02+10:00Added an answer on September 6, 2012 at 10:12 am

      thanks Geno – very helpful. I have resubmitted the logline.

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    2. sharkeatingman
      2012-09-05T23:34:34+10:00Added an answer on September 5, 2012 at 11:34 pm

      Nicholasandrewhalls- As a concept, it’ll make a great, funny skit or short, although I must tell you that the TV show “Death Valley” featuring the U.T.F. (Undead Task Force), had an entire episode (22 min.) on this very topic. It, too, was hilarious and well-done. You might find it on youTube somewhere.

      As a logline, though, it it missing many of the elements. What you have here is more of an idea than a logline. A logline with this premise might look more like:

      “A entrepreneurial phlebotomist unknowingly hires a roving band of vampires, then accidentally assists them in robbing the mobile blood bank business in which he invested his life savings.”

      It’s obviously a different story, but it contains the protag (phelebotomist), antag (roving band of vampires), goal (to have a successful business), stakes (no pun intended…but losing his savings, his business and his blood), obstacles (not aware that he hired these vampires), “hook” (vampires robbing a mobile blood bank concept), genre (comedy) and irony (vampires hired to work at blood bank).

      Hope this helps!

      Geno Scala (sharkeatingman)- judge

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    3. Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai
      2012-09-05T17:00:23+10:00Added an answer on September 5, 2012 at 5:00 pm

      I’ve written it as a short action/comedy. Unfortunately it has come in at 17 pages (target was 10) and I need to refine and focus the concept.

      Andrew – that antag is the driver of the mobile blood bank. The best way to describe the nurse’s relationship is that he’s an enabler. In vampire lore there are so many problems – can’t go out in daytime, need to drink blood, can’t enter a home unless invited, that would make living life in modern day very difficult. He is a friend and accomplice who, until the beginning of the short, has been supplying them with blood stolen from the hospital he works at. The inciting incident, which occurs before the current version of the film (thus its exclusion from this logline) is when the nurse is subjected to a criminal investigation at work, and the blood supply dries up.

      The nurse’s flaw is less clear to me. It’s a short, so I don’t want to go too deep into anyone’s psyche, but I want the emotional arc of the film to explore how the nurse thinks he doesn’t NEED these vampire friends in his life – until he is shot in the stomach during the robbery and they hold the key to immortality (ie. turning him into a vampire). It’s a story about friendship – hence the title ‘Bad Blood’.

      Knowing that, any further comments on the logline?

      Maidenscombe – if there is any humor, hopefully its because heist movies have tackled thieves robbing armored cars, but vampire thieves would rob blood banks.

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    4. Maidenscombe
      2012-09-05T16:37:22+10:00Added an answer on September 5, 2012 at 4:37 pm

      Where is the humour in the logline?

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    5. Filmstar Penpusher
      2012-09-05T15:27:18+10:00Added an answer on September 5, 2012 at 3:27 pm

      This is hilarious. Does it go wrong ? What happens?

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    6. Andrew Bates Logliner
      2012-09-05T15:16:04+10:00Added an answer on September 5, 2012 at 3:16 pm

      Who’s the antagonist? How is the nurse and the vampires related? What is the nurse’s flaw? Where is the i.i? (If there is one)

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    7. Filmstar Penpusher
      2012-09-05T13:46:18+10:00Added an answer on September 5, 2012 at 1:46 pm

      Obviously a comedy as it’s making me smile…! Makes me wonder what they’re going to do with it…?

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