A once successful landowner with picture perfect family, suddenly finds himself at the mercy of his arch-rival, forcing him to juggle single fatherhood with reclaiming his livelihood and dignity.
MMosePenpusher
A once successful landowner with picture perfect family, suddenly finds himself at the mercy of his arch-rival, forcing him to juggle single fatherhood with reclaiming his livelihood and dignity.
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As the others have said. ?I don’t understand it either in terms of plot and stakes.
I personally don’t understand this logline.
Agreed with the above comments, the logline fails to describe a plot.
Check out the Training tab on the top bar for more detail on how best to construct a logline with all the necessary elements.
I think it would be a better logline if you could specify a few things:
– Who is the arch-rival to the protagonist? ?Another landowner? Someone else? Without knowing this, it’s hard to picture what he’s up against, how high the stakes are exactly…
– What happens that makes him at the mercy of the arch-rival? Does he owe him money? Without knowing this I don’t know what has happened to even cause this problem, and what got the story going.
– What does he have to do more specifically to reclaim his dignity and livelihood??What are we rooting for him to do in the story? If I know this, I am able to more clearly imagine how the movie will play out and what I will be watching this guy do.??Obviously you might have him do many things, but you might want to include?the main gist of his goal/action. From this we can also tell the genre — if it’s action oriented or more of a thriller, etc…
– I think including the two descriptions of the main character – “a once successful landowner with a perfect family” and “single father” confuses me on what’s?the most defining aspect of his character that directly relates to his story goal. It might be better to decide which you would like us to focus on more.
What does the arch rival actually do to him? This is important to the logline. Does he steal his wife? Does he somehow undercut his business? Letting us know in the logline what the arch rival actually does will help the logline fall into place.