Logliner
Posted: 2016-06-21T16:29:15+10:00 In:

A pert casino waitress accidentally tripled in stature by a scientist achieves her dream of Vegas stardom and falls in love wuth him, but sacrifices her size to save him when he’s kidnapped by a mobster. .,

Stand Tall!

Share

    Post a review

    You must login to add an answer.

    To see everything,

    5 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Logliner
      • 0
    2. Best Answer
      Singularity

      Well, the comedic potential and logic of the premise aside, the logline gives away the 3rd Ac: ?what she must ultimately do for the man she loves. ? A logline should never show that card, ?should never reveal what happens in the 3rd Act to resolve the dramatic conflict. ?Should never tip its hand about anything in the 3rd Act.

      • 0
    3. Best Answer
      Singularity

      The concept in this logline is confusing.

      Is it the change to her size that’s her inciting incident? ?Is that what motivates her to take action and achieve something?

      If so what is it she needs to achieve as a result of the size change?

      If the goal is saving the scientist? Then the inciting incident ?is the scientist getting kidnapped by the mob, and therefore that should be described in the beginning.

      • 0
    4. Best Answer
      Singularity

      You might want to replace the word pert, with petite for clarity.

      • 0
    5. Best Answer
      Mentor

      Hello,
      I see a lack of logic in the logline: [sacrifice her size to save his lover from the mob].

      I like the idea of a giant woman starring in Las Vegas.

      • 0