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Monsteruss
Posted: June 15, 20152015-06-15T07:32:07+10:00 2015-06-15T07:32:07+10:00In: Public

A religious zealot grows the devil in the lab, using him to scare people back to the church, only to loose control of his creation.

Devil

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    4 Reviews

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    1. FFF Mentor
      2015-06-15T07:42:23+10:00Added an answer on June 15, 2015 at 7:42 am

      “When a devil escapes form a religious zealot’s lab, ________________” … what happens?

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    2. CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
      2015-06-15T08:05:57+10:00Added an answer on June 15, 2015 at 8:05 am

      I don’t mind your line. The only thing that rubs for me is the devil created in a lab. That may work in the script but raises a huge question in the logline.

      Perhaps just the outcome of the lab work. “A religious zealot bring the devil back to earth to…”

      Explain how in the script. The lab angle doesn’t move the story along.

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    3. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2015-06-15T11:07:01+10:00Added an answer on June 15, 2015 at 11:07 am

      Could it be that you mean to say that a religious person grows a creature in a lab that looks like the devil. Is this the case?
      If so then the logline needs to be re drafted to reflect this as it can change the genre of the story. If it is a created creature in a lab then this is a scifi story if it is the actual devil then it is a religious one.

      Regardless the plot starts after he loess control over his creation be it what it may. So as mentioned above by FFF what happens then? What is his goal?

      Hope this helps.

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    4. cryters Penpusher
      2015-06-15T11:59:45+10:00Added an answer on June 15, 2015 at 11:59 am

      I like what FFF said although the ‘what happens’ question he asks is answered in that he devil is let loose on the world, right? But I think FFF meant to ask how will the zealot engage in the conflict. For example, “only to lose control of his creation, setting the zealot on a race against time to recapture the devil”, or something like that.

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