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Tor Dollhouse
Posted: January 30, 20132013-01-30T10:20:28+10:00 2013-01-30T10:20:28+10:00In: Public

A scared monster accidentally destroys tokyo and now must rebuild the city while avoiding capture from a crazy zoologist.

MONSTER MONSTER

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    4 Reviews

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    1. Aquazi
      2013-01-31T05:03:26+10:00Added an answer on January 31, 2013 at 5:03 am

      You tried to be original and that’s cool, you used irony and that’s cool aswell..

      But as I try to imagine myself being somebody who has to choose what movie to produce or a simple person trying to decide what to see at the theatre tonight your logline would really make me think why the hell a monster should rebuild the city, aren’t the human able to do that themself? Just because he feels guilty? Also did you just say rebuilding a city? Is he supposed to place a brick after another, color walls, make electric and hydraulic connections ecc…?

      As much as I can feel some kind of interest towards the logline and can feel some empathic feeling with the animal, I cannot just make a sense out of it and I feel the overall plot very weak.

      Work on it, try to use a magician instead of a monster (which makes more sense to rebuild a city with magic) or make the monster do something easier then just destroying a city and it can hook maybe some interest.

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    2. steveylang Samurai
      2013-02-02T06:50:44+10:00Added an answer on February 2, 2013 at 6:50 am

      I’m guessing this is a comedy of sorts? The logline supplies the basic info, I’d like more info about the monster. Otherwise it’s hard to picture the movie.

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    3. almiiitey Penpusher
      2013-02-04T00:56:05+10:00Added an answer on February 4, 2013 at 12:56 am

      I am a fan of the original Japanese version of Godzilla and the idea that a monster could accidentally destroy Tokyo felt like a fresh twist on a classic tale. I have two comments that might be helpful. First, in light of the recent nuclear disaster in Tokyo, I am wondering if a story about the accidental destruction of this city might feel a bit intense–however, this may be your intent. Second, I think your logline could be a bit more clear on the main objective of the monster–not getting caught. If the monster is caught he won’t be able to rebuild the city. Rough draft of a possible revision idea:

      When a scared monster accidentally destroys a major city, it must avoid capture by a ____ (is the scientist crazy if we wants to stop destruction? Maybe this person is just insensitive to the true nature of the monster) scientist so the monster can use its super powers to help rebuild the city.

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    4. Ayd?n ?zer
      2014-01-11T22:12:02+10:00Added an answer on January 11, 2014 at 10:12 pm

      There is something shinny in here (but needs work)

      It sounds something in between a Manga & Pixar

      If you chisel this out for a 3D family film it could work

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