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RichievSingularity
Posted: September 26, 20122012-09-26T19:21:33+10:00 2012-09-26T19:21:33+10:00In: Public

A spoiled teen is sent to live with her Grandfather who is the storyteller for his tribe; will she have the worst summer of her life or will she relent and learn about her heritage.

Heritage

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    5 Reviews

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    1. sharkeatingman
      2012-09-27T03:23:34+10:00Added an answer on September 27, 2012 at 3:23 am

      Cool title. Loglines shouldn’t sound like ad campiagns, and when you form it as a question, the first reaction is going to be “Who cares?”, or “No”, not “Ooh, let’s read it and find out. Rhetorical questions almost never work.

      That being said, you need to ratchet up the conflict. Not having a great summer is hardly a consequence she might have if she doesn’t learn about her heritage. Think about ways in which not knowing can hurt her- either physically, emotionally or otherwise: she could have a disease that has been passed down through the family, and not know about it, she could be missing out on Indian casino shares she’s not aware of, she could discover who her real father was, etc.

      Sounds like a good concept, so don’t cheat yourself with a less-than-perfect logline.

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    2. sharkeatingman
      2012-09-27T03:26:33+10:00Added an answer on September 27, 2012 at 3:26 am

      Geno Scala (sharkeatingman)- judge

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    3. ChasFisher
      2012-09-29T08:49:57+10:00Added an answer on September 29, 2012 at 8:49 am

      Wow Geno, you keep getting in before me.

      I imagine the stakes must be bigger than just her. So much of the future of tribes rests on the current generation learning about their heritage. If the grandfather must teach her the ways of her people or else the tribe will fall apart forever, then you have instantly set up the conflict that will drive the film.

      Being Australian, this kind of thing is happening before our eyes. Hundreds of languages have been lost in less than a century.

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    4. Richiev Singularity
      2012-09-29T11:02:39+10:00Added an answer on September 29, 2012 at 11:02 am

      Some great ideas.

      I had seen this as a coming of age story. A young girl hangs out at the mall (Facebook?) with her friends, a little spoiled and the last thing she wants to do; spend the summer with her grandfather on the reservation.

      Originally, (once she warms up to her Grandfather) she was going to ask to tell a story at the campfire (Something the grandfather does for the kids of the tribe) He say, only if she learns it perfect, word for word. The movie ends with the grandfather dying and at the funeral, she tells the story he taught to her. (She has finally accepted her heritage)

      But I do like the idea that it could be about something bigger. Maybe he’s the last storyteller of his tribe and she must carry on his tradition or the tribe may lose the stories forever. Even if it’s about her helping him record the stories in order to save them.

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    5. Judah Ray Logliner
      2017-02-01T10:13:54+10:00Added an answer on February 1, 2017 at 10:13 am

      Sounds like a great drama. Touching story of lost youth and culture. It would be fun to write, read, and watch.

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