Timber
A teenage lumberjack wannabe struggles with his ironically hipster appearance as he figures out what it means to be a man.
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The scene where the tree falls on the car is a keeper. (Is this a comedy?)
In this case, a logline would describe not what the MC wants to be but what he does to become. So if he’s a “wannabe lumberjack” — if that’s his working definition of a manly man — then it seems to me his goal would be to get hired as a full-time lumberjack.
BTW: Becoming a lumberjack could be the wrong goal to fulfill his subjective need to define himself with a manly occupation. Which he discovers after he achieves the goal — through hilarious missteps and misadventures– or discovers after struggling to achieve the goal only to fail — after hilarious missteps and misadventures. The critical issue is that logline informs readers that he is taking steps, that he is struggling to reach a specific goal.
The scene where the tree falls on the car is a keeper. (Is this a comedy?)
In this case, a logline would describe not what the MC wants to be but what he does to become. So if he’s a “wannabe lumberjack” — if that’s his working definition of a manly man — then it seems to me his goal would be to get hired as a full-time lumberjack.
BTW: Becoming a lumberjack could be the wrong goal to fulfill his subjective need to define himself with a manly occupation. Which he discovers after he achieves the goal — through hilarious missteps and misadventures– or discovers after struggling to achieve the goal only to fail — after hilarious missteps and misadventures. The critical issue is that logline informs readers that he is taking steps, that he is struggling to reach a specific goal.
Thanks for all the feedback guys, I really do appreciate it!
I’ve been struggling with this idea for about a year now, I just have no ideas on what specific external conflicts could arise.
The MC is basically a scrawny, nearly blind teenager who wears lumberjack attire (flannel, boots, the whole 9 yards.) Because of his obvious lack of manliness, nobody takes him seriously when he wants to be a lumberjack. People also perceive him as a hipster because “nobody understands him.” A lot of it just plays off of society’s view of the common hipster.
As far as external obstacles, I see the story going in two ways:
1.) MC and a friend drive out to the middle of nowhere to cut down a tree, the tree crushes their car and they must survive in the wilderness.
2.) MC basically goes on a road trip and talks to different people on what they think it means to be a man. Sounds serious, but it wouldn’t be. I had one pretty funny scene scripted out where he visits a Wal-Mart (or some made-up store chain) to buy a knife, because all men carry knives, right? But the guy working in the knife/gun section persists that he needs a gun, because all real men have guns. Just trying to focus in on that everyone has different views on what it means to be a man in today’s society. Not much conflict in the one though…
Thanks for all the feedback guys, I really do appreciate it!
I’ve been struggling with this idea for about a year now, I just have no ideas on what specific external conflicts could arise.
The MC is basically a scrawny, nearly blind teenager who wears lumberjack attire (flannel, boots, the whole 9 yards.) Because of his obvious lack of manliness, nobody takes him seriously when he wants to be a lumberjack. People also perceive him as a hipster because “nobody understands him.” A lot of it just plays off of society’s view of the common hipster.
As far as external obstacles, I see the story going in two ways:
1.) MC and a friend drive out to the middle of nowhere to cut down a tree, the tree crushes their car and they must survive in the wilderness.
2.) MC basically goes on a road trip and talks to different people on what they think it means to be a man. Sounds serious, but it wouldn’t be. I had one pretty funny scene scripted out where he visits a Wal-Mart (or some made-up store chain) to buy a knife, because all men carry knives, right? But the guy working in the knife/gun section persists that he needs a gun, because all real men have guns. Just trying to focus in on that everyone has different views on what it means to be a man in today’s society. Not much conflict in the one though…
I’m not sure how a “…lumberjack wannabe…” will behave in different situations its not a clear character description. There is need for a description that will inspire conflict in our minds when we read the MC’s goals.
As previously mentioned best to specify an external tangible goal for the MC to pursue and in the same token describe the main action the MC will take to achieve the goal. The internal journey goal was specified “… figures out what it means to be a man.” but this is too vague to give a clear understanding of the way in which the MC learns a lesson and will develop.
Hope this helps, Nir.
I’m not sure how a “…lumberjack wannabe…” will behave in different situations its not a clear character description. There is need for a description that will inspire conflict in our minds when we read the MC’s goals.
As previously mentioned best to specify an external tangible goal for the MC to pursue and in the same token describe the main action the MC will take to achieve the goal. The internal journey goal was specified “… figures out what it means to be a man.” but this is too vague to give a clear understanding of the way in which the MC learns a lesson and will develop.
Hope this helps, Nir.
The logline tells us about his subjective need, to figure “what it means to be a man”. What the logline needs is a statement of his objective goal, the means by which he hopes to figure out that issue, to define and prove his manhood. And the logline needs to designate an external opponent or obstacle that prevents him from reaching that goal.
The logline tells us about his subjective need, to figure “what it means to be a man”. What the logline needs is a statement of his objective goal, the means by which he hopes to figure out that issue, to define and prove his manhood. And the logline needs to designate an external opponent or obstacle that prevents him from reaching that goal.
Story is conflict.
The conflict in your story; Your lead character struggles with his appearance.
Is there any other conflict you could use for your logline? Because a movie about a guy struggling with his hipster appearance isn’t compelling.
Maybe there is a person in the story he has conflict with, If that is the case I would use that as the conflict in your logline.
Hope that helped, good luck with this.
Story is conflict.
The conflict in your story; Your lead character struggles with his appearance.
Is there any other conflict you could use for your logline? Because a movie about a guy struggling with his hipster appearance isn’t compelling.
Maybe there is a person in the story he has conflict with, If that is the case I would use that as the conflict in your logline.
Hope that helped, good luck with this.
If his name was jack and he was a dreamer you could call it Slumber Jack
If his name was jack and he was a dreamer you could call it Slumber Jack