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blossomingscriptsPenpusher
Posted: July 24, 20152015-07-24T23:57:56+10:00 2015-07-24T23:57:56+10:00In: Public

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    8 Reviews

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    1. blossomingscripts Penpusher
      2015-07-27T10:55:36+10:00Added an answer on July 27, 2015 at 10:55 am

      The hero does have a dramatic goal — to achieve fame. And the inciting incident is related to the goal. People with HPD are sexually provocative and crave attention. Breakups devastate them and often cause dramatic outbursts from them since their significant other is pretty much saying they don’t want them around anymore. It is feasible to think such devastation could lead them to do something drastic like drop out of school due to embarrassment or emotional damage. And like I said, people with HPD crave attention (bombshell Marilyn Monroe is often cited as an example). And if you’re a sexually provocative woman in her early 20s looking for attention and fame, it is not a stretch to think you may wind up in the adult film industry. But thanks for the feedback. I’ll think about it a bit.

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    2. Blue Parrot
      2015-07-26T22:45:06+10:00Added an answer on July 26, 2015 at 10:45 pm

      You do state her goal is to achieve fame, but that seems so unrelated to the inciting incident that I didn’t connect the two.

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    3. Blue Parrot
      2015-07-26T22:41:56+10:00Added an answer on July 26, 2015 at 10:41 pm

      From my reading of the logline, it sounds like a documentary, not a feature film, because the hero has no dramatic goal we can see her trying to achieve and the obstacles that would keep her from reaching it.

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    4. Richiev Singularity
      2015-07-26T00:02:50+10:00Added an answer on July 26, 2015 at 12:02 am

      You are correct, I miss read it.

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    5. blossomingscripts Penpusher
      2015-07-25T16:34:37+10:00Added an answer on July 25, 2015 at 4:34 pm

      All things to think about. I appreciate all the feedback you provided me. Thanks

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    6. blossomingscripts Penpusher
      2015-07-25T16:34:03+10:00Added an answer on July 25, 2015 at 4:34 pm

      Exactly how is it unclear?

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    7. Richiev Singularity
      2015-07-25T15:42:35+10:00Added an answer on July 25, 2015 at 3:42 pm

      Who is the lead character? (Not clear from the logline)

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    8. dpg Singularity
      2015-07-25T08:17:59+10:00Added an answer on July 25, 2015 at 8:17 am

      This version has some intriguing dramatic possibilities — and some intriguing problems.

      First of all, anyone who reads this logline will likely have to google the term “histrionic personality disorder” (notice no caps) to find out what it means. It’s a relatively recent term to describe a complex of symptoms that previously were subsumed under other labels, like hysteria. As we live in an age where most everyone in the movie industry who is likely to read this logline has ready access to the Internet via a computer of smartphone, perhaps that’s not such a serious issue.

      Still, the ideal is to write a logline that doesn’t require someone to take a detour to a dictionary or website for an explanation of a word or term. You can depend on it that some people will be too busy, too impatient to take the time to research the term; they’ll just pass on the logline, move on to the next.

      Be that as it may, it seems to me that her HPD is more than just a character flaw — it is her dramatic problem. She is her own worst enemy, her own antagonist. (Although there could be another character in an antagonist role in the sense he/she is exploits her mental disorder.)

      Now then. It seems to be that the breakup with her boyfriend would be a consequence, a symptom of her HPD. It is not the causal factor (aka: inciting incident) in her decision to drop out, become a porn actress. The real causal factor, the real inciting incident is her HPD, the symptoms of which have become sufficiently full blown with adulthood (the typical etiology of the disorder) to wreak havoc in her life.

      Which brings me to the question of intention: what’s the point of this story line? What theme do you want to explore? Why do you want to portray a protagonist afflicted with a serious personality disorder that dooms her to suffering and failure? Why should I want to watch it? Particularly when there is no lack of films and documentaries about real life people who self-destruct. Like the new documentary on Amy Winehouse. Which is hard to watch but compelling because she was so talented and because there were so many people in her life who were co-enablers of her death spiral — including the media. There are many thematic takeaways from that documentary other than just another death of another self-destructive celebrity.

      What would makes this fictional story as compelling as, perhaps more compelling than “Amy”?

      Will the protagonist in your story eventually pull out of her downward spiral, find some kind of redemption and recovery from her disorder? If so then how? People with serious personality disorders, such as HPD, do not seek out therapy or counseling until after their lives have totally crashed and burned — and even then they may not. In other words, if the trajectory of story leads to recovery, then it entails another major character who rescues who intervenes in her life to get her the help she needs.

      fwiw.

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