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durga dalai
Posted: August 2, 20142014-08-02T21:26:58+10:00 2014-08-02T21:26:58+10:00In: Public

A yesteryear superhero with waning superpowers must mend his ways to reclaim lost glory and deliver the doomed planet from the hands of a cunning corporate kingpin.

Fat Justice

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    14 Reviews

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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2014-08-03T15:59:42+10:00Added an answer on August 3, 2014 at 3:59 pm

      Agreed, add in an addictive ingredient the corporate bad guy is adding to the food and it’s perfect.

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    2. Richiev Singularity
      2014-08-03T15:59:42+10:00Added an answer on August 3, 2014 at 3:59 pm

      Agreed, add in an addictive ingredient the corporate bad guy is adding to the food and it’s perfect.

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    3. durga dalai
      2014-08-03T15:18:46+10:00Added an answer on August 3, 2014 at 3:18 pm

      The bad guy has grown into power-now, a corporate kingpin- by luring the planet into buying this lifestyle.

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    4. durga dalai
      2014-08-03T15:18:46+10:00Added an answer on August 3, 2014 at 3:18 pm

      The bad guy has grown into power-now, a corporate kingpin- by luring the planet into buying this lifestyle.

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    5. dpg Singularity
      2014-08-03T08:10:31+10:00Added an answer on August 3, 2014 at 8:10 am

      How does the “cunning corporate kingpin” figure into a story about fat people? What is the causal relationship?

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    6. dpg Singularity
      2014-08-03T08:10:31+10:00Added an answer on August 3, 2014 at 8:10 am

      How does the “cunning corporate kingpin” figure into a story about fat people? What is the causal relationship?

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    7. Richiev Singularity
      2014-08-03T07:06:36+10:00Added an answer on August 3, 2014 at 7:06 am

      I think that idea works, I like the idea of an over weight culture, the bad guy would be selling the populous the delicious but bad for you products.

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    8. Richiev Singularity
      2014-08-03T07:06:36+10:00Added an answer on August 3, 2014 at 7:06 am

      I think that idea works, I like the idea of an over weight culture, the bad guy would be selling the populous the delicious but bad for you products.

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    9. durga dalai
      2014-08-03T06:21:06+10:00Added an answer on August 3, 2014 at 6:21 am

      Thanks for the feedback, Richiev.

      I had thought of this as a satirical comedy on the problems of growing obesity, replete with the tagline- “Eat your Veggies” on an Uncle Sam poster. 🙂

      It is a dystopic planet of overweight food-abusers. Our protagonist is a victim, too.

      Eventually, he discovers the cause of his waning superpowers and could attribute it to his unhealthy food habits.

      What follows is his quest for glory and mankind’s redemption.

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    10. durga dalai
      2014-08-03T06:21:06+10:00Added an answer on August 3, 2014 at 6:21 am

      Thanks for the feedback, Richiev.

      I had thought of this as a satirical comedy on the problems of growing obesity, replete with the tagline- “Eat your Veggies” on an Uncle Sam poster. 🙂

      It is a dystopic planet of overweight food-abusers. Our protagonist is a victim, too.

      Eventually, he discovers the cause of his waning superpowers and could attribute it to his unhealthy food habits.

      What follows is his quest for glory and mankind’s redemption.

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    11. Richiev Singularity
      2014-08-03T03:27:13+10:00Added an answer on August 3, 2014 at 3:27 am

      I believe this idea has potential.

      What if the former Superhero has old school values, ‘Truth Justice and the American way’ and also believes in fighting fair. (Think old school superman)

      Meanwhile the new superheroes are brooding and dark and believe in defeating the bad guy by any means necessary. (Think Nolan’s Batman)

      Now the Corporate King pin has bought off the new school superheroes and the old Superhero must face the man he trained to take his place who’s now turned to evil.

      —–
      When the Justice Squad is bought off by an evil trillionaire, a former superhero with dreams of past glory must face his now evil protege’ if he’s to defeat a cunning corporate kingpin who’s evil plan will doom the planet.
      —–

      Hope that helped, good luck with this!

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    12. Richiev Singularity
      2014-08-03T03:27:13+10:00Added an answer on August 3, 2014 at 3:27 am

      I believe this idea has potential.

      What if the former Superhero has old school values, ‘Truth Justice and the American way’ and also believes in fighting fair. (Think old school superman)

      Meanwhile the new superheroes are brooding and dark and believe in defeating the bad guy by any means necessary. (Think Nolan’s Batman)

      Now the Corporate King pin has bought off the new school superheroes and the old Superhero must face the man he trained to take his place who’s now turned to evil.

      —–
      When the Justice Squad is bought off by an evil trillionaire, a former superhero with dreams of past glory must face his now evil protege’ if he’s to defeat a cunning corporate kingpin who’s evil plan will doom the planet.
      —–

      Hope that helped, good luck with this!

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    13. Richiev Singularity
      2014-08-03T03:19:37+10:00Added an answer on August 3, 2014 at 3:19 am

      Not a bad Idea, I would drop “Mend his ways” since it tells us nothing.

      If you had said, mend his ways as a hard drinker, mend his ways as a womanizer, or something such as that, then I think it could stay.

      Also I don’t believe you need, waning superpowers, saying a yesteryear Superhero is sufficient.

      Finally I might mix up the last line just a little bit,

      You wrote: deliver the doomed planet from the hands of a cunning corporate kingpin.
      I would write: Must defeat a cunning corporate kingpin who’s plan will doom the planet.

      The reason is, in your version the planet is already doomed, I believe it would be better for him to save the planet from being doomed.

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    14. Richiev Singularity
      2014-08-03T03:19:37+10:00Added an answer on August 3, 2014 at 3:19 am

      Not a bad Idea, I would drop “Mend his ways” since it tells us nothing.

      If you had said, mend his ways as a hard drinker, mend his ways as a womanizer, or something such as that, then I think it could stay.

      Also I don’t believe you need, waning superpowers, saying a yesteryear Superhero is sufficient.

      Finally I might mix up the last line just a little bit,

      You wrote: deliver the doomed planet from the hands of a cunning corporate kingpin.
      I would write: Must defeat a cunning corporate kingpin who’s plan will doom the planet.

      The reason is, in your version the planet is already doomed, I believe it would be better for him to save the planet from being doomed.

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