Chasing Rimi
A young advertising executive, on a rebound, falls for the girlfriend of his close childhood friend and woos her till she yields; they carry out a clandestine affair right under the nose of her boyfriend till she begins to suffer from guilt and decides to call off the affair; but her boyfriend comes to know of the affair and has his own plans.
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Hello,
try to answer to this questions:
1-what is the inciting event?
2-who is the main character? (describe him/her with one adjective)
3-what is his/her goal?
4-who is the antagonist (describe him/her with one adjective) or what forces are against the goal?
Then write one sentence (no more than 40 words) where all this elements are clear.
It isn’t easy but THAT would be your logline.
for exemple:
“When her geek boyfriend comes to know about her old affair, a prom queen must team up with her old stud lover to stop her boyfriend’s crazy plan to blow up the school”
Good luck!
Does the story begin when he seduces his best friends girl? The climax being when his friend discovers the affair?
Or does the story begin when the affair is discovered and it is about the revenge?
Just curious.
Way too much information given here, and then you miss out on the crucial part.
All that I really need from the above is:
“A young advertising executive has an affair with his best friend’s wife …”
But without a strong event, this doesn’t function as an effective action for your protagonist to take. And this can’t be the event itself, because it’s an action that the protagonist takes, and the inciting incident HAS TO happen to the protagonist to upset the equilibrium of his life.
So … perhaps the “When his mistress breaks off their illicit affair, a young advertising executive must …”
This COULD work as the event that kicks things into gear, but you’d still need to tell me what the action he takes in response to this would be.
Why an advertising executive? How does that factor into anything else in the logline? Remember, when constructing a protagonist, the point is to craft someone who’s the LEAST LIKELY to be able to handle the situation you put them in, the LEAST LIKELY to be able to achieve their goal. If it’s the story of someone dealing with secrets and affairs, their function in the world would be best suited if they were used to having to always be open and honest. Maybe he’s a marriage counselor, for instance? Perhaps his life’s work is to promote healthy, open and honest communication between partners?
Also … YOUNG is a very boring flaw for the character to have. When you have to be economic in your description of your character and their flaw, YOUNG doesn’t do enough to tell me what their inner journey is going to be. Are they optimistic, and their arc is going to be a crushing of that optimism? Or are they skeptical, and their eyes are opened to the possibility and wonders of the universe and love? Obviously, this would help to nail your tone, as well, because it’s not super clear from the logline.
It can be shortened and simplified. What about – “A young executive on a rebound falls for and has an affair with his best friend’s girl. When exposed, he must…(what must he do?) or (what are the consequences if he fails?).
The inciting incident I think is clear in the statement where it states – ‘on a rebound’. That is what kick starts the story.
What I like is your suggestion that “…when constructing a protagonist, the point is to craft someone who is the LEAST LIKELY to be able to handle the situation you put them in; the LEAST LIKELY to be able to achieve their goal…” But I am not sure if the adjective used to describe the protagonist needs to embody his flaw. Can’t it just be his professional status? My protagonist is a confident guy and it is his confidence that goes for a toss when the girl begins to develop doubts about the morality of their affair and decides to go back to her boyfriend. That what constitutes his conflict; how to win back the girl. And his being an advertising guy factors in later when he casts her in an ad film to win back her love.
Of course, the logline has to be shortened… somewhat like, “A young advertising executive has a clandestine affair with his best friend’s girlfriend till the other guy finds out about it,” OR, “A young advertising executive has a clandestine affair with his best friend’s girlfriend till she begins to have qualms about it and wants to go back to her boyfriend.” (Actually both the things happen; the girl begins to have moral qualms and her boyfriend also finds out about the affair.)
What do you suggest?
The story begins when he falls for the girl; that’s Plot Point 1. The whole of Act II is taken up by their clandestine affair and the girl’s moral conflict. The affair being discovered is Plot Point 2. And the Inciting incident is when the protagonist’s original girlfriend leaves him for somebody else and that kick starts the story.
Yes, thanks, I think it can be shortened: “A young advertising executive on a rebound falls for and has a clandestine affair with his best friend’s girlfriend till she begins to have moral qualms and her boyfriend also finds out about it.”
Does it work?
1-The Inciting event is when the protagonist’s original girlfriend leaves him for somebody else.
2-The protagonist is the ‘Young advertising executive’.
3-His goal is first to woo the girl; and when he succeeds she begins to have moral qualms and then his goal is to sustain / maintain the relationship because she wants to call off the affair and go back to her original boyfriend.
4-The girl’s moral conflict about the affair constitutes the antagonism. He has to fight this.
I will redefine the log line: “A young advertising executive, on a rebound, falls for and has a clandestine affair with his best friend’s girlfriend who begins to have moral qualms about the affair and wants to go back to her boyfriend.”
Does this work?