I’m Jim Morrison, I’m Dead
A young man in his 20’s believes to be the actual ghost of Jim Morrison, using the body as vessel, he sets forth on a journey into the heart of the desert where he believes to find a ‘Gateway to Heaven’.
Share
Have an account? Sign In Now
For starters I like the title, its quirky, a bit lie that new film coming out ‘John Dies At The End’. I think these titles are intriguing. Now with the log line my initial problem is I know very little about The Doors so I’m unsure if ‘Gateway to Heaven’ is an in-joke of one of their records or something? f it isn’t then it makes less sense as why does he believe a gateway to heaven is in the middle of the desert? Can I ask why Jim Morrison? Why not a fictional rock star?
The story is apparent but for me it doesn’t quite connect, again this could be my poor knowledge on the subject (sorry), so I think it needs to re-worked. Also does this character’s personality make him want to be Jim Morrison? If so describe him better than just a young man in his 20’s. I personally wouldn’t put ‘young man’ and ’20s’ because we get that from the young man. Is the young man dead? Is he a ‘young wannabee rocker’?
Hope this rambling helps I had better do some research on The Doors!
It might be clearer if you were writing, “A young man believed to be the reincarnation” or “possessed by the spirit of Jim Morrison” ….
Because you only have about 25-30 words to work with you should cut where possible.
“he sets forth on a journey into the heart of the desert”
“Journey’s to the heart of the desert.”
Don’t say someone sets forth, or starts, or begins. In movies characters don’t “begin to walk”, “they Walk.” They don’t “set forth on a journey,” they “Journey.”
“A singer who believes he’s possessed by Jim Morrison, journey’s to the heart of the desert to find a ‘Gateway to Heaven'”
The problem is you have no conflict. What’s standing in the protagonists way? You should at least hint at what’s opposing your lead characters goal in the logline.
Hope this helps, good luck with this!
For your consideration:
Believing himself to be the reincarnation of Jim Morrison, a young man ventures into the desert in search of the ?Gateway to Heaven?. (23 words instead of 41)