Afraid of what the acrid city air might be doing to their unborn child, a man and his young wife retreat to the countryside to spend a weekend on a camping break. Faced with the unbearable beauty of what the city had left of the countryside while mourning the loss of his own innocence, the man crumbles under the pressures of his impending fatherhood and submits to a violent, emotional regression in the hopes of appealing to the maternity of nature.

I have mixed feelings about this. I like the soul of your film…

But you have articulated the intellectual and emotional journey of the protagonist. What the action will be, – beyond travel into the forest, hang out, delve into violence – is unclear.

‘submits… in the hopes of appealing to the maternity of nature’ is too metaphysical for the logline, its meaning is unclear, and what it looks and sounds like on screen is unclear.

A weekend camp break to me appears perhaps too short a period for such an extreme turn around to occur.

This is a great idea to explore whose POV will provide the more engaging story: telling it from the husband’s POV, or his wife’s.

Thanks for sharing your work!