George Street
After 6 weeks of grieving, a 28 year old widow's family has decided she is coming home for christmas to 'get better', whether she likes it or not.
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Thanks for taking the time to comment. I understand the issue, and will work on it and come back. Thanks!
This would make a good Christmas story, and you have wonderful suggestions to improve your logline.
Having the widow coming home for Xmas is the family’s goal. But she is the protagonist. So, what is her objective goal?
Who opposes that goal? What is at stake? That is, what does she expect to gain if she achieves her objective? What does she stand to lose if she fails?
Louise gives good advice, also the story needs some conflict.
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“After her husband death a grieving widow returns home for Christmas only to find her meddling family has invited the man she was ‘supposed’ to marry.”
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Anyway I like your premise, the logline isn’t bad just needs tweaking. Good luck with this!
This is just the type of story I would love. There are a couple of things missing in the logline though and the main character needs to have a more active ‘voice’. I’am assuming the widow is the main character? If so, perhaps something along the lines of When a grieving young widow is physically taken home by her family for Christmas determined to ‘make her better’, she must …………… what is her goal, what must she learn/overcome ….