they bring justice by mutilating the rapists who escaped the law
windLogliner
After a rape victim loses in court from the suspect?s influential family, she emerges as the leader of “broken”, a group of similar cases prepared to bring justice by necessary evil
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I thought hard. It’s something I’d watch.
It hangs entirely on creating truly despicable rapists. I’d want them mutilated. But I’m not the only one watching it.
…but who decides “the thin line” your protagonist will cross?
If you continue on this, make sure you justify the subject. I want to see her dark side as well.
Good luck for this project
PS. In which time and space is it based?
How about this?
After losing in court, a rape victim emerges as the leader of ?Broken?, a group founded on similar cases seeking justice at any cost.
Some times loglines tend to get a little “wordy”, and the meaning gets lost or confusing.
“When the system fails to mete out justice to her well-connected rapist, an angry victim takes the law into her own hands to mete out some justice of her own.”
>>>they bring justice by mutilating the rapists who escaped the law
>>>bring justice by necessary evil
How?? By (gulp) severing the rapist’s pride and joy??
(Poetic-street justice?)
The way you’ve worded your logline is clunky:
“… loses in court from the suspect’s influential family, …” (you don’t lose FROM, you lose TO).
“… a group of similar cases prepared …” (the cases themselves don’t form the group, it’s the victims in those cases who collectively come together).
So, maybe that’s being picky. But if the wording is clunky, it comes off as un-polished, and rattles my confidence in you as a storyteller.
It’s easy enough to unpick what the story is about: A gang of rape victims taking revenge on their attackers.
It’s not clear, from the current logline, what the actual thrust of the story will be. For instance, is this a story of someone starting this support group, “Broken”, and it spiralling out of control until they’re breaking as many laws as the people they’re fighting against? Or is that more of a backdrop to perhaps tracking down the protagonist’s attacker and getting ultimate revenge on them? (Sort of like, the leader thinking that revenge will mend the piece of their soul that has been damaged, and ultimately they have the realisation that an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind). Or is it the story of a group of vigilantes doling out justice, and the justice system casting them as villains and trying to take them down? (The villains of that story being the cops, judges and lawyers).
I can see that there is potential for conflict in this premise, but the open-endedness of the protagonist’s goal suggests more of a logline for a TV series, where you might spend time on all of the different potential threads? I think if this is a contained feature narrative, you need to get more specific about the ACTION the protagonist takes in response to the courts failing them.
FWIW – this would not appeal to someone like me; it feels like in the era of #metoo, a rape-revenge flick is a bit tone-deaf. Rape kind of needs to be handled quite delicately in narrative, I think, and I’d be wary that this premise could manage it. In the words of Griffin & David from the Blank Check podcast, it’s “too much paprika.”
If this is a film, I suggest you specify her taking the law into her own hands with a view to punishing her attacker and her attacker only. Otherwise, you’re setting up a situation that never ends which makes this better suited as a series instead.
She’s the Dexter of rapes, and I think her story would make for a great film if she goes after her own rapist and her own rapist only, otherwise, you’ll have a massive can of worms on your hands. Richiev’s rewrite suggestion works well, it cleans up some of the wording and redundancies.