Clive
After an accident causes a successful CEO to lose both legs, he is forced to re-evaluate his life and identity
Share
Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
Cameron, what is there to re-evaluate if he is successful as you have described him? Why not use a different qualifier like “nasty” or “callous” or “mean instead of Successful ( or in addition to it eg: a mean and successful CEO)”
And a twist such as reveal his true identity rather than re-evaluate would be nice… but then, its your story…
It would also be good if you gve an indication of the stakes as to why he had to review his life. Has he lost his memory and someone stolen his dientity? As a CEO he could keep his job or does he risk losing it. After an accident causes a successful CEO to lose both legs, he must change his attitude -;if he wants people to help him adjust to his new life. Ie Does he risk losing his wife. After an accident causes a successful CEO to lose both legs, he must change his attitude or his wife will leave him. After an accident causes a successful CEO to lose both legs he has lost his identity and he tries to recall past events in an attempt to become who he was once more. -Not very good loglines but they give more of a story.
I like what you’re doing.
A few miner suggestions for this: “he is forced to re-evaluate”
“is forced” is passive. Can you remove that and just say he “re-evaluates” or begins to “re-evaluate?”
Which leads to my next suggestion. “re-evaluate” to me is vague. What, specifically, does he do to re-evaluate? Start a journal? write in a blog that becomes popular? quits his job and moves to the desert? becomes a hermit like Howard Hughes? It seems like the “re-evaluate” part is really the soul of your story and I’d like to know what it is.
Yes, something whats at stakes is missing. Some goal or reason and it should be primal (death, family) like he is going to die, or perhaps the goal could be even a hero’s inner journey. Like he was reckless and since the incident, nobody counts his successful career anymore as he is an utter jerk. So he has to change or he risk to loose everything what has left.
Like:
After a crippling accident, reckless CEO has to change the way he lived or he will loose his family and even his own life.
I agree with this, we need to know what the process of re-evaluation is because that seems to be the core of the story – at the same time I think we need to know what the stakes are – So what if he doesn’t re-evaluate his life or identity? Does this mean the entire company will fall apart and the other company stake holders kick him off the executive board?
There is definitely a “Regarding Henry” feel to this.
I would look at the first line “After an accident causes a successful CEO to lose both legs,”
I would shorten it, “When a successful CEO loses both his legs.” because we will assume he didn’t lose his legs on purpose.
As for the rest I would simply listen to the advice given by the others who have commented.
Anyway, I hoped that helped. Good luck!
Richiev said exactly what I thought, shorten it. When a CEO loses his legs, he must reinvent(is more proactive than re-evaluate)his identity (or else, before, some sort of consequence).