Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
katiefracas
Posted: February 13, 20132013-02-13T06:26:57+10:00 2013-02-13T06:26:57+10:00In: Public

After her man is taken hostage in a botched drugs heist his needy gangland girlfriend must unravel the truth behind what went down if either of them are to make it out alive.

Cut and Run

  • 0
  • 4 4 Reviews
  • 695 Views
  • 0 Followers
  • 0
Share
  • Facebook

    Post a review
    Cancel reply

    You must login to add an answer.

    Forgot Password?

    To see everything, Sign Up Here

    4 Reviews

    • Voted
    • Oldest
    • Recent
    1. katiefracas
      2013-02-13T09:34:15+10:00Added an answer on February 13, 2013 at 9:34 am

      Thanks – he’s not the main character, this is all her P.O.V.
      I’ll have another attempt…I really appreciate the feedback!

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    2. mmckean
      2013-02-13T07:50:36+10:00Added an answer on February 13, 2013 at 7:50 am

      *main

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    3. mmckean
      2013-02-13T07:50:08+10:00Added an answer on February 13, 2013 at 7:50 am

      A huge step in the right direction. In order to avoid the whole him and her problem maybe you could write the man’s name in there, especially if he is the man character.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    4. Richiev Singularity
      2013-02-13T06:51:10+10:00Added an answer on February 13, 2013 at 6:51 am

      This logine is much better but still needs work.

      The two phrases, “her man” and “his needy gangland girlfriend” clash with one another.

      When you say “her man” you are making it clear she is the main character
      When you say “His needy girlfriend” you are implying he’s the main character.

      I would change the word “His” and since you already said it was “her man” you don’t need “Girlfriend” just use “Girl” or “Woman”

      I would also stay away from the term (Needy)
      —–
      An Example: “After her man is taken hostage in botched drug heist a (New adjective) gangland girl must…”
      —–

      One more small thing: When you say “If either of them are to make it out alive” it imply’s both are taken hostage but that line clashes with “When her boyfriend is taken hostage” which imply’s that only he was taken hostage.

      I would clarify that in the logline.
      —–
      This attempt is really shaping up, now the changes will all be very small and picky. (I am curious what others think)

      Hope this helped, good luck!

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp

    Sidebar

    Stats

    • Loglines 7,997
    • Reviews 32,189
    • Best Reviews 629
    • Users 3,710

    screenwriting courses

    Adv 120x600

    aalan

    Explore

    • Signup

    Footer

    © 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
    With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.