Angels VS Aliens
RichievSingularity
After the earth is attacked by Aliens, Gabriel must lead a small group of commando angels into their deadly spacecraft and destroy it before the human race is obliterated.
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Nice logline. My only question is, do you really want all of the action to take place in the spacecraft?
As this reads now, it appears all of the action will take place in the “deadly spacecraft”. wouldn’t it be more exciting to show the war taking place across the face of the Earth and the Heavens (if you will allow a bit of dramatic flair).
Also, how is the spacecraft “deadly” in and of itself?
Otherwise, great concept.
Dear Richiev,
Clear inciting incident, goal, hero, and antagonist. I wasn’t clear if the word :”their” referred to the angels or the aliens. Also wasn’t sure why it was important to give the hero a name unless you were referring to the Archangel Gabriel.
After Earth is attacked by aliens, a group of commando angels led by the Archangel Gabriel must destroy the aliens’ spacecraft to save the human race.
Another question I had, that may have little relevance to the logline, is why they angels are getting involved in a conflict between humans and aliens. If the human race is obliterated, what are the consequences for the angels?
Oops! In the first line of the third paragraph, I meant to write “the angels” not “they angels.”
I like almiiitey’s tweak.
Angels would get involved because that’s their job description, to protect the earth. And because, come to find out, the aliens are agents of Satan, the fallen archangel, Gabriel’s nemesis and the greatest threat to the divine order Gabriel serves.
Thanks, dpg, for the clarification.
This is kind of off topic, but dpg’s comment made me think of this. I’ve been doing some research on alien abductions for a screenplay idea recently. I’ve come to learn that before alien abductions, people described very similar situations involving demons instead of aliens. Apparently, when the “abductions” or visits involved demons, if the abductee began reciting the Lord’s Prayer, the demons would release them or leave. Abductees also claim that this works with alien abductions as well, which has led some to believe that the “aliens” are actually demons. So… I guess something about aliens turning out to be demons could be a cool idea.
If you don’t believe that aliens or demons are abducting or harassing people, it’s thought that both experiences are a result of sleep paralysis and hypnopompic hallucinations and the visitors are determined by the culture of the person being visited.
Good rewrite, it’s both more clear and shorter, good job almiiitey.
I didn’t realize it wasn’t clear that I was talking about the Archangel Gabriel.
Gabriel has been charged by God to be earths protector. He failed years ago when the aliens attacked Atlantis and the human race was almost killed off. He’s out to redeem himself.
Thanks for the comments, they were very helpful!
Very good point DPG