Penpusher
Posted: 2014-09-10T12:04:39+10:00 In:

After treating a difficult and eccentric patient a brilliant but overwhelmed doctor questions her sanity after encountering bizarre visions.

The Fall (TV Pilot)

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    8 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      In your logline you haven’t given us a goal. Is the doctor’s goal to use her visions for good or to get rid of her visions.
      —–
      After she’s afflicted with bizarre visions a brilliant doctor must…. (Then say what she must do to achieve a goal)
      —–
      Hope that helped, good luck with this.

      • 0
    2. Singularity

      In your logline you haven’t given us a goal. Is the doctor’s goal to use her visions for good or to get rid of her visions.
      —–
      After she’s afflicted with bizarre visions a brilliant doctor must…. (Then say what she must do to achieve a goal)
      —–
      Hope that helped, good luck with this.

      • 0
    3. Penpusher

      Thanks.

      • 0
    4. Penpusher

      Thanks.

      • 0
    5. Singularity

      Is it her own sanity she questions or that of her patient? I’m assuming it is the former.

      Thanks for clarifying that it’s a concept for a TV pilot. That raises a separate set of issues for a logline. The most important one would be: does this concept have legs? Is it strong enough to generate an interesting central character and compelling situations for a hundred or more episodes, long enough to go into syndication? (Which is when a production company finally recoups its investment).

      I can’t say this logline gives me a strong focus on the character or her situation. What’s the hook? Is the “doctor” a psychiatrist? Are her “bizarre visions” symptoms of schizophrenia? Is this to be a serial saga of a psychiatrist who succumbs to one of the disorders she has been trained to treat?

      • 0
    6. Singularity

      Is it her own sanity she questions or that of her patient? I’m assuming it is the former.

      Thanks for clarifying that it’s a concept for a TV pilot. That raises a separate set of issues for a logline. The most important one would be: does this concept have legs? Is it strong enough to generate an interesting central character and compelling situations for a hundred or more episodes, long enough to go into syndication? (Which is when a production company finally recoups its investment).

      I can’t say this logline gives me a strong focus on the character or her situation. What’s the hook? Is the “doctor” a psychiatrist? Are her “bizarre visions” symptoms of schizophrenia? Is this to be a serial saga of a psychiatrist who succumbs to one of the disorders she has been trained to treat?

      • 0
    7. Singularity

      The key for a pilot logline is to introduce an MC that will keep on encountering difficulty as a result of the conflict between their character and the situation the pilot puts them in.

      In this instance you tap on that but don’t capitalize on all the potential for conflict in the premise and MC combo.
      Try describing the MC using a contradiction in terms such as; a chef with out taste buds, a neurotic psychiatrist or a depressed clown. Then put them in a situation that in each episode would accentuate the problem at hand.

      Hope this helps.

      • 0
    8. Singularity

      The key for a pilot logline is to introduce an MC that will keep on encountering difficulty as a result of the conflict between their character and the situation the pilot puts them in.

      In this instance you tap on that but don’t capitalize on all the potential for conflict in the premise and MC combo.
      Try describing the MC using a contradiction in terms such as; a chef with out taste buds, a neurotic psychiatrist or a depressed clown. Then put them in a situation that in each episode would accentuate the problem at hand.

      Hope this helps.

      • 0