Rainbow Warriors Book Series
Against opposition from her family, and his mentor, a graduate from Mongolia and her Russian pen-pal, who are otherwise too poor to go away to school, road-test their courage and their friendship by joining other students and staff to launch their new floating campus aboard the Rainbow Warriors International University
Share
“These students have specific career goals and their classes will be part of their struggle for success.”
This is the closest I have read on this thread to a tangible goal. What is the main student character’s career goal?
Make this the MC goal and setting up the university becomes one of the actions he or she take to achieve this goal.
“Many people, speaking many different languages is a challenge for all involved…” this seams more like a minor obstacle on a social level not an obstacle that will potentially prevent the MC from achieving his or her career goal.
“Adjusting, fitting in…” sounds vague as I can imagine many different ways but none specifically that relate to this logline.
Who can’t adjust or fit in? In what way are they not adjusting or fitting in? And into where are they trying to adjust and fit in? etc…
Seeing as the rainbow warrior aspect of the story has been so often misunderstood here, I think better to change the setting to a more suitable place that won’t confuse the environmental issue with the premise.
I think at this stage better to simplify the concept for the sake of clarity and identify one main character with one tangible goal with one clear obstacle. And have all the rest as a second and maybe a third subplot rather than try and cram all the ideas you have into the one concept.
“These students have specific career goals and their classes will be part of their struggle for success.”
This is the closest I have read on this thread to a tangible goal. What is the main student character’s career goal?
Make this the MC goal and setting up the university becomes one of the actions he or she take to achieve this goal.
“Many people, speaking many different languages is a challenge for all involved…” this seams more like a minor obstacle on a social level not an obstacle that will potentially prevent the MC from achieving his or her career goal.
“Adjusting, fitting in…” sounds vague as I can imagine many different ways but none specifically that relate to this logline.
Who can’t adjust or fit in? In what way are they not adjusting or fitting in? And into where are they trying to adjust and fit in? etc…
Seeing as the rainbow warrior aspect of the story has been so often misunderstood here, I think better to change the setting to a more suitable place that won’t confuse the environmental issue with the premise.
I think at this stage better to simplify the concept for the sake of clarity and identify one main character with one tangible goal with one clear obstacle. And have all the rest as a second and maybe a third subplot rather than try and cram all the ideas you have into the one concept.
Who/what is the antagonist that threatens to defeat them?
What is the character flaw whereby the main characters may defeat themselves?
Who/what is the antagonist that threatens to defeat them?
What is the character flaw whereby the main characters may defeat themselves?
That is much better, but you should give us the ‘why’.
After “This happens” A girl from Mongolia and her pen-pal, a boy from Russia, face down all obstacles to their chance to go to an international college aboard a ship
Hope that helps.
That is much better, but you should give us the ‘why’.
After “This happens” A girl from Mongolia and her pen-pal, a boy from Russia, face down all obstacles to their chance to go to an international college aboard a ship
Hope that helps.
A second go at this logline:
A girl from Mongolia and her pen-pal, a boy from Russia, face down all obstacles to their chance to go to an international college aboard a ship.
Is this better?
A second go at this logline:
A girl from Mongolia and her pen-pal, a boy from Russia, face down all obstacles to their chance to go to an international college aboard a ship.
Is this better?
Thank you very much for your feedback.
It is a series. The series is about the college and the students, teaching staff and founders. It is a frame story, the frame being the successful college and resultant culture.
13 parts- 12 about student pairs, and the last about the founders.
These students have specific career goals and their classes will be part of their struggle for success. Many people, speaking many different languages is a challenge for all involved. Adjusting, fitting in, and becoming successful students in this difficult environment is part of their challenge, as well.
Maybe a good analogy would be the Tower of Babel in reverse.
I am more concerned about how several cultures have prophecies which seem to overlap, and I am making this my overall premise- the possibilities that abound.
I would call it an epic. And the students are taking a hero’s journey.
Thank you for all of your ideas and feedback.
Thank you very much for your feedback.
It is a series. The series is about the college and the students, teaching staff and founders. It is a frame story, the frame being the successful college and resultant culture.
13 parts- 12 about student pairs, and the last about the founders.
These students have specific career goals and their classes will be part of their struggle for success. Many people, speaking many different languages is a challenge for all involved. Adjusting, fitting in, and becoming successful students in this difficult environment is part of their challenge, as well.
Maybe a good analogy would be the Tower of Babel in reverse.
I am more concerned about how several cultures have prophecies which seem to overlap, and I am making this my overall premise- the possibilities that abound.
I would call it an epic. And the students are taking a hero’s journey.
Thank you for all of your ideas and feedback.
As I noted earlier, your logline seems to have 2 plots: 1] The struggle to get where ever they need to go to join the university; 2] The struggle to get the “floating campus” going after they arrive.
But a logline should have only one plot.
What you seem to have is the basis for two movies, not one. Or a series with X-number of chapters. What is your target medium and format: a regular movie or a TV/streaming media serial?
Either way, the logline should be about the principal character(s) having one overarching objective goal. That objective goal would be the basis for a single plot line that unifies all the individual episodes and chapters.
Consider the plot for the epic movie “Lawrence of Arabia” (1962). The movie is nearly 4 hours long (director’s cut) — they don’t make movies like that anymore. If such a sweeping story in length and scope were being made today it would be a multi-chapter TV/streaming series.
Anyway, at first viewing the movie might seem to have 2 plots, divided by an intermission. The first plot would seem to be about Lawrence struggle to capture the strategic port of Aqaba from the Ottoman Turks during World War I. The second plot would seem to be about Lawrence’s fight to defeat the Turks altogether in Arabia and get to Damascus before the British army does.
But actually, Lawrence is motivated by one uber-goal which he explicitly articulates in the setup: Liberate the Arabs from both the Ottoman and British empires. And that’s the overarching dramatic question of the entire 4 hour movie: Can Lawrence realize his dream of winning the Arabs their freedom?
That becomes the basis for the unifying plot line of the entire movie.
What is the single uber-goal, the unitary, unifying plot line for your story?
(And once again, don’t assume that a script reader or producer will automatically know what Rainbow Warriors refers to. Most won’t.
Also, are you aware of the controversy surrounding the prophecy? That many Native Americans consider it to be bogus, a White Man fabrication co-opting Native American themes and concepts? These days, Hollyweird is more sensitive to how Native Americans and their culture and traditions are portrayed in cinema.
I’m just saying, fwiw…)
As I noted earlier, your logline seems to have 2 plots: 1] The struggle to get where ever they need to go to join the university; 2] The struggle to get the “floating campus” going after they arrive.
But a logline should have only one plot.
What you seem to have is the basis for two movies, not one. Or a series with X-number of chapters. What is your target medium and format: a regular movie or a TV/streaming media serial?
Either way, the logline should be about the principal character(s) having one overarching objective goal. That objective goal would be the basis for a single plot line that unifies all the individual episodes and chapters.
Consider the plot for the epic movie “Lawrence of Arabia” (1962). The movie is nearly 4 hours long (director’s cut) — they don’t make movies like that anymore. If such a sweeping story in length and scope were being made today it would be a multi-chapter TV/streaming series.
Anyway, at first viewing the movie might seem to have 2 plots, divided by an intermission. The first plot would seem to be about Lawrence struggle to capture the strategic port of Aqaba from the Ottoman Turks during World War I. The second plot would seem to be about Lawrence’s fight to defeat the Turks altogether in Arabia and get to Damascus before the British army does.
But actually, Lawrence is motivated by one uber-goal which he explicitly articulates in the setup: Liberate the Arabs from both the Ottoman and British empires. And that’s the overarching dramatic question of the entire 4 hour movie: Can Lawrence realize his dream of winning the Arabs their freedom?
That becomes the basis for the unifying plot line of the entire movie.
What is the single uber-goal, the unitary, unifying plot line for your story?
(And once again, don’t assume that a script reader or producer will automatically know what Rainbow Warriors refers to. Most won’t.
Also, are you aware of the controversy surrounding the prophecy? That many Native Americans consider it to be bogus, a White Man fabrication co-opting Native American themes and concepts? These days, Hollyweird is more sensitive to how Native Americans and their culture and traditions are portrayed in cinema.
I’m just saying, fwiw…)
Thanks for the feedback.
There is a Native American prophecy about the Rainbow Warriors. The book series is about the (fictional) original class of Rainbow Warriors.(Greenpeace references the prophecy, too, actually.)
Her father wants to marry her off to older alcoholic friend. His former girlfriend is training to be a spy. A mentor is trying to bully him to join the Party. Pressure to leave home. Too poor to go to a regular college. Decide to travel together to school.
On their journey, and once they get to the college, they face a number of obstacles to their goals.
Floating campus- to avoid interference from various governments to their program- no permanent location yet.
How to get all this into a logline- what to emphasize and what to omit- that’s the hard part.
Please give me feedback.
Thanks for the feedback.
There is a Native American prophecy about the Rainbow Warriors. The book series is about the (fictional) original class of Rainbow Warriors.(Greenpeace references the prophecy, too, actually.)
Her father wants to marry her off to older alcoholic friend. His former girlfriend is training to be a spy. A mentor is trying to bully him to join the Party. Pressure to leave home. Too poor to go to a regular college. Decide to travel together to school.
On their journey, and once they get to the college, they face a number of obstacles to their goals.
Floating campus- to avoid interference from various governments to their program- no permanent location yet.
How to get all this into a logline- what to emphasize and what to omit- that’s the hard part.
Please give me feedback.
Thanks for the feedback.
She is opposed by her family. He is opposed by his mentor. They are pen-pals, reassuring each other. Actually, both are eventually accepted as students. Both are from poor families. Funding comes from the experimental school itself.
How to put all of this into a logline, or which parts to emphasize is the challenge.
Please give me feedback.
Thanks for the feedback.
She is opposed by her family. He is opposed by his mentor. They are pen-pals, reassuring each other. Actually, both are eventually accepted as students. Both are from poor families. Funding comes from the experimental school itself.
How to put all of this into a logline, or which parts to emphasize is the challenge.
Please give me feedback.
Thanks for your feedback.
The theme of the book is struggling to learn courage. It is a dual protagonist plot, because we are exploring physical courage, and the courage it takes to overcome shyness and to stand up to one’s family. A subplot is their relationship. Will it be friendship or more?
Her father wants to marry her off to an alcoholic friend- his age.
He want to get away from the influence of the Party, and his mentor in it.
Both crave college.
Both are from poverty-stricken families.
Complex plot. Tough to get it all into a logline.
Please give me feedback.
Thanks
Thanks for your feedback.
The theme of the book is struggling to learn courage. It is a dual protagonist plot, because we are exploring physical courage, and the courage it takes to overcome shyness and to stand up to one’s family. A subplot is their relationship. Will it be friendship or more?
Her father wants to marry her off to an alcoholic friend- his age.
He want to get away from the influence of the Party, and his mentor in it.
Both crave college.
Both are from poverty-stricken families.
Complex plot. Tough to get it all into a logline.
Please give me feedback.
Thanks
As the others have said.
What is the story about? The road journey to join the Rainbow Warrior or their effort to “launch a floating campus” once they get there? What’s at stake? What do they stand to lose if they fail?
Who/what opposes them, that is, who/what opposes them all the way through the story? The family and mentor seem be deflectors who try to dissuade them from their journey in the first Act and then drop out of the story, rather than antagonists who continue to oppose and throw obstacles in the path of their objective goal.
And what’s the dramatic purpose of starting a “floating campus”.
And I assume that Rainbow Warrior means they are involved in some kind of environmental cause. I would not assume everyone knows about the Rainbow Warrior, no further explanation is needed.
As the others have said.
What is the story about? The road journey to join the Rainbow Warrior or their effort to “launch a floating campus” once they get there? What’s at stake? What do they stand to lose if they fail?
Who/what opposes them, that is, who/what opposes them all the way through the story? The family and mentor seem be deflectors who try to dissuade them from their journey in the first Act and then drop out of the story, rather than antagonists who continue to oppose and throw obstacles in the path of their objective goal.
And what’s the dramatic purpose of starting a “floating campus”.
And I assume that Rainbow Warrior means they are involved in some kind of environmental cause. I would not assume everyone knows about the Rainbow Warrior, no further explanation is needed.
Is this a dual protagonist plot?
If so what are the two trying to achieve together? Cause currently as it is described they road test their courage. This is an unclear and vague action for them to pursue together. Could you specify what it is exactly they do together that requires both of them?
Further if the subject matter is education I think better to stick with that as the main subject matter rather than complicate the story with a secondary environmental one by using the rainbow warrior.
Hope this helps.
Is this a dual protagonist plot?
If so what are the two trying to achieve together? Cause currently as it is described they road test their courage. This is an unclear and vague action for them to pursue together. Could you specify what it is exactly they do together that requires both of them?
Further if the subject matter is education I think better to stick with that as the main subject matter rather than complicate the story with a secondary environmental one by using the rainbow warrior.
Hope this helps.
This logline is confusing,
She is opposed by her family, his mentor and her pen pal?
—–
“After her friend isn’t accepted to university, a spoiled teen gives up her trust fund and runs away with her lover to an experimental floating college against her powerful families wishes.”
—–
hope that helped, good luck with this!
This logline is confusing,
She is opposed by her family, his mentor and her pen pal?
—–
“After her friend isn’t accepted to university, a spoiled teen gives up her trust fund and runs away with her lover to an experimental floating college against her powerful families wishes.”
—–
hope that helped, good luck with this!