Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
pressedham_d
Posted: June 3, 20152015-06-03T14:22:24+10:00 2015-06-03T14:22:24+10:00In: Public

All hell breaks loose when an impertinent alchemist's experiment accidentally opens the gates to hell, and she stands face-to-face with Satan.

Oil of Vitriol

  • 0
  • 4 4 Reviews
  • 770 Views
  • 0 Followers
  • 0
Share
  • Facebook

    Post a review
    Cancel reply

    You must login to add an answer.

    Forgot Password?

    To see everything, Sign Up Here

    4 Reviews

    • Voted
    • Oldest
    • Recent
    1. Richiev Singularity
      2015-06-03T14:32:52+10:00Added an answer on June 3, 2015 at 2:32 pm

      When she accidentally releases Satan from hell, an impertinent alchemist must (do this thing) or else (This bad thing will happen)

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    2. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2015-06-04T11:13:07+10:00Added an answer on June 4, 2015 at 11:13 am

      Good re write by Richiev.

      This is a simple concept with clear stakes and good characters the only suggestion I can make is to make it personal.

      Could it be that the alchemist’s motivation was to save her dying father, mother, sister, brother or lover?

      Now to do so she must do soothing specific to defeat Satan in order to save the stakes character and the world?

      After she accidentally releases Satan from hell, an impertinent alchemist must banish him once more in order to release her parents from demonic enslavement and save the world.

      Hope this helps.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    3. pressedham_d
      2015-06-04T11:37:21+10:00Added an answer on June 4, 2015 at 11:37 am

      It’s interesting that you asked whether the motivation could be to save someone – in fact, in earlier versions of this logline that was explicitly stated as the character’s motivation.

      I will try a rewrite that more closely matches Richiev’s suggested format.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    4. pressedham_d
      2015-06-08T01:57:22+10:00Added an answer on June 8, 2015 at 1:57 am

      “When an impertinent alchemist enters hell in search of an elixir of life, can she find her way back out before Satan discovers her there?”

      How about this?

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp

    Sidebar

    Stats

    • Loglines 7,997
    • Reviews 32,189
    • Best Reviews 629
    • Users 3,710

    screenwriting courses

    Adv 120x600

    aalan

    Explore

    • Signup

    Footer

    © 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
    With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.