Unexpected Life
An ambitious Ukrainian girl moves to NYC from Brighton beach to escape her conservative family and to fulfill her lifelong dream of becoming a freelance journalist, everything goes better than expected until she discovers that she has less than a year to live…
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I would begin the logline with your lead discovering she has a year to live. That’s where you’re story starts.
I would begin the logline with your lead discovering she has a year to live. That’s where you’re story starts.
Hmm, very interesting point. I would have to make changes to my storyline, but it would definitely make more sense. Thanks a lot for your help! I will think about it.
Hmm, very interesting point. I would have to make changes to my storyline, but it would definitely make more sense. Thanks a lot for your help! I will think about it.
As Richiev said. And as a result of the diagnosis, what does she decide to do differently?
The usual sequence of events for this kind of story would be for her to break away from her family as a result of the diagnosis. That is, the woman decides to Carpe Diem — seize the day — when she realizes there are too few days left and they are too precious to squander living the way others want her to live. (As in the series “Breaking Bad” where Walter White breaks out of his conventional and frustrating life as a chemistry teacher after he’s diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer.)
But as the logline is written, she makes her dramatic break out Carpe Diem before the diagnosis. What have you got in mind for her to do as an objective goal that can top that, that is even more dramatic than what she has already done?
As Richiev said. And as a result of the diagnosis, what does she decide to do differently?
The usual sequence of events for this kind of story would be for her to break away from her family as a result of the diagnosis. That is, the woman decides to Carpe Diem — seize the day — when she realizes there are too few days left and they are too precious to squander living the way others want her to live. (As in the series “Breaking Bad” where Walter White breaks out of his conventional and frustrating life as a chemistry teacher after he’s diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer.)
But as the logline is written, she makes her dramatic break out Carpe Diem before the diagnosis. What have you got in mind for her to do as an objective goal that can top that, that is even more dramatic than what she has already done?
Thank you dpg! Your answer was very very helpful. I just realized that my initial idea is not going to work, the story will be overcharged and confusing.
So I decided to follow your advice and I have rewritten my logline:
When an ordinary college girl discovers that she has less than a year to live, she decides to start a new life by moving to NYC to escape her dysfunctional conservative family and to fulfill her lifelong dream of becoming a successful journalist.
Thank you dpg! Your answer was very very helpful. I just realized that my initial idea is not going to work, the story will be overcharged and confusing.
So I decided to follow your advice and I have rewritten my logline:
When an ordinary college girl discovers that she has less than a year to live, she decides to start a new life by moving to NYC to escape her dysfunctional conservative family and to fulfill her lifelong dream of becoming a successful journalist.
If she is ordinary you don’t need to say it.
You should narrow it down a little, just say a year. (or six months)
You should tell us what she does not what she decides to do.
—–
“When a sheltered college student discovers she has a year to live, she moves to NYC to truly live for the first time, but must overcome her overbearing mother who is determine to bring her back to Ukraine.”
—–
I added an antagonist in my version, something standing in her way.
Hope that helped!
If she is ordinary you don’t need to say it.
You should narrow it down a little, just say a year. (or six months)
You should tell us what she does not what she decides to do.
—–
“When a sheltered college student discovers she has a year to live, she moves to NYC to truly live for the first time, but must overcome her overbearing mother who is determine to bring her back to Ukraine.”
—–
I added an antagonist in my version, something standing in her way.
Hope that helped!
Or she could decide to defy her family and her own fears and return to Ukraine, not in spite of the ongoing military conflict and economic crisis but because of them: they represent an opportunity par excellence for her to be an eye witness reporter on the front line of a pivotal moment in European history. (She could be fluent in both the Ukrainian and Russian languages.)
The enduring appeal of “Bucket List” stories like this is that when confronted with a death sentence, the protagonist makes the strongest choice, risks all for her biggest dream, the one she could find all the excuses in the world not to strive for under normal circumstances. Or postpone — the “ma?ana, ma?ana” syndrome — because she thinks she has all the time in the world to wait until conditions are “just right”. (Which, of course, they never are.) Most movie goers can identify with that existential predicament.
fwiw
Or she could decide to defy her family and her own fears and return to Ukraine, not in spite of the ongoing military conflict and economic crisis but because of them: they represent an opportunity par excellence for her to be an eye witness reporter on the front line of a pivotal moment in European history. (She could be fluent in both the Ukrainian and Russian languages.)
The enduring appeal of “Bucket List” stories like this is that when confronted with a death sentence, the protagonist makes the strongest choice, risks all for her biggest dream, the one she could find all the excuses in the world not to strive for under normal circumstances. Or postpone — the “ma?ana, ma?ana” syndrome — because she thinks she has all the time in the world to wait until conditions are “just right”. (Which, of course, they never are.) Most movie goers can identify with that existential predicament.
fwiw
I am so happy this website exists. I am very very grateful for your help guys! It really helps me a lot!
>> Thank you a lot Richiev! Your advice is very helpful!
Should I be more precise about why exactly she goes to NYC? What is her goal?
I will be back with some new ideas.
>>dpg
Your idea is great! That’s what I thought about initially, but stopped to go into this direction because I realized that it will be very hard to execute it. Most likely this will be an independent film (hopefully), so it will be very hard to finance this project.
But at the same time I would LOVE to write about it! Maybe I should just go for it…
Hmm, I will definitely come back with a new logline.
I am so happy this website exists. I am very very grateful for your help guys! It really helps me a lot!
>> Thank you a lot Richiev! Your advice is very helpful!
Should I be more precise about why exactly she goes to NYC? What is her goal?
I will be back with some new ideas.
>>dpg
Your idea is great! That’s what I thought about initially, but stopped to go into this direction because I realized that it will be very hard to execute it. Most likely this will be an independent film (hopefully), so it will be very hard to finance this project.
But at the same time I would LOVE to write about it! Maybe I should just go for it…
Hmm, I will definitely come back with a new logline.