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ChrisCombo
Posted: July 21, 20152015-07-21T05:36:45+10:00 2015-07-21T05:36:45+10:00In: Public

An exiled 'modified human' must help defeat a deadly faction of super-human terrorists to regain his estranged family.

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    3 Reviews

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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2015-07-21T08:19:07+10:00Added an answer on July 21, 2015 at 8:19 am

      You have left out what sets this entire story in motion. Why is he the one taking on Super-Human terrorists, how will that help him regain an estranged family.

      Now if the the family was kidnapped by the terrorists I could see how that would all fit, but if that’s the case it should be added to the logline.
      —–
      “When his family is kidnapped, an exiled ‘modified human’ must defeat a faction of Super-human terrorists to rescue them.”
      —–

      Hope that helps, good luck with this!

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    2. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2015-07-21T12:52:44+10:00Added an answer on July 21, 2015 at 12:52 pm

      Greed with Richiev the inciting incident is missing.

      Other wise this sets up a potentially interesting scifi story.

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    3. spaceshorts
      2015-07-22T06:53:55+10:00Added an answer on July 22, 2015 at 6:53 am

      agree with other feedback – would like to add that logline insinuates he is helping someone or being helped – is he working within an organization or is he a Taken-style loner? sounds fun either way.

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