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fighter200Penpusher
Posted: February 9, 20152015-02-09T12:07:35+10:00 2015-02-09T12:07:35+10:00In: Public

An intergalactic space army called the star guardians are assigned to go up against the most dangerous army in the galaxy led by the charismatic and evil leader named Blade.

Star Guardians

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    14 Reviews

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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2015-02-11T13:09:34+10:00Added an answer on February 11, 2015 at 1:09 pm

      There is also a well known sci-fi book by Andre Norton called “Star Guard”

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    2. Richiev Singularity
      2015-02-11T13:09:34+10:00Added an answer on February 11, 2015 at 1:09 pm

      There is also a well known sci-fi book by Andre Norton called “Star Guard”

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    3. [Deleted User]
      2015-02-11T09:08:30+10:00Added an answer on February 11, 2015 at 9:08 am

      There’s not much more I can add to the really good advice posted earlier. I would like to point out that your names are awfully close to two of Marvel comics characters: Guardians of the Galaxy and Blade. I’d recommend trying to come up with something more unique.

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    4. [Deleted User]
      2015-02-11T09:08:30+10:00Added an answer on February 11, 2015 at 9:08 am

      There’s not much more I can add to the really good advice posted earlier. I would like to point out that your names are awfully close to two of Marvel comics characters: Guardians of the Galaxy and Blade. I’d recommend trying to come up with something more unique.

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    5. 2015-02-10T09:49:33+10:00Added an answer on February 10, 2015 at 9:49 am

      Hard to see a story here, unless you are “hiding the ball”. (See Blake Snyder).

      From logline.it guidelines :

      ? the Hero?s function or role in the story (e.g. a mother, a cop, a scientist)
      ? the Hero?s weakness and/or how it?s overcome (optional, e.g. headstrong, timid, solitary, cocky, depressed)
      ? the story?s first major event or ?Inciting Incident? (optional)
      ? the Hero?s goal or main action in the story
      ? the obstacle(s) and/or the Antagonist
      ? the stakes (unless implied in the goal/obstacle)

      Of the six listed, you have one: Blade.

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    6. 2015-02-10T09:49:33+10:00Added an answer on February 10, 2015 at 9:49 am

      Hard to see a story here, unless you are “hiding the ball”. (See Blake Snyder).

      From logline.it guidelines :

      ? the Hero?s function or role in the story (e.g. a mother, a cop, a scientist)
      ? the Hero?s weakness and/or how it?s overcome (optional, e.g. headstrong, timid, solitary, cocky, depressed)
      ? the story?s first major event or ?Inciting Incident? (optional)
      ? the Hero?s goal or main action in the story
      ? the obstacle(s) and/or the Antagonist
      ? the stakes (unless implied in the goal/obstacle)

      Of the six listed, you have one: Blade.

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    7. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2015-02-10T07:27:47+10:00Added an answer on February 10, 2015 at 7:27 am

      Agreed with DPG.

      I would go further and say that this log line sounds like any other war movie. Try removing the words Galaxy and space and you basically have the generic description of any war story ever told:

      An army called the British Army are assigned to go up against the most dangerous army led by the charismatic and evil leader named Napoleon.

      An army called the Allies are assigned to go up against the most dangerous army led by the charismatic and evil leader named Hitler.

      Only as previously mentioned without a MC, personal stakes or specified goals.

      I think that the over indulgence in VFX heavy films and recent rise of the comic book hero movies have created a far more savvy audience than 10 or 15 years ago. What this means is unless your space story is based on a commonly known space premise or character in space you need to work doubly hard to justify a space adventure.

      Hope this helps.

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    8. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2015-02-10T07:27:47+10:00Added an answer on February 10, 2015 at 7:27 am

      Agreed with DPG.

      I would go further and say that this log line sounds like any other war movie. Try removing the words Galaxy and space and you basically have the generic description of any war story ever told:

      An army called the British Army are assigned to go up against the most dangerous army led by the charismatic and evil leader named Napoleon.

      An army called the Allies are assigned to go up against the most dangerous army led by the charismatic and evil leader named Hitler.

      Only as previously mentioned without a MC, personal stakes or specified goals.

      I think that the over indulgence in VFX heavy films and recent rise of the comic book hero movies have created a far more savvy audience than 10 or 15 years ago. What this means is unless your space story is based on a commonly known space premise or character in space you need to work doubly hard to justify a space adventure.

      Hope this helps.

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    9. dpg Singularity
      2015-02-09T14:40:37+10:00Added an answer on February 9, 2015 at 2:40 pm

      I don’t see anything in the logline that makes the concept stand out from the 1,001 other films in production about warfare in outer space. Whom does Blade threaten? What are the stakes? What is unique about this galactic conflict that distinguishes it from all the others?

      While there is a specific antagonist (although for the purposes of a logline he doesn’t need to be named), there is no mention of the protagonist, the leader of the guardians. Yet, the first thing movie producers want to know about the characters is: who is the hero? What is his defining characteristic or special power or skill? And what is his specific mission (objective goal)? And his flaw or weakness that threatens the success of the mission?

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    10. dpg Singularity
      2015-02-09T14:40:37+10:00Added an answer on February 9, 2015 at 2:40 pm

      I don’t see anything in the logline that makes the concept stand out from the 1,001 other films in production about warfare in outer space. Whom does Blade threaten? What are the stakes? What is unique about this galactic conflict that distinguishes it from all the others?

      While there is a specific antagonist (although for the purposes of a logline he doesn’t need to be named), there is no mention of the protagonist, the leader of the guardians. Yet, the first thing movie producers want to know about the characters is: who is the hero? What is his defining characteristic or special power or skill? And what is his specific mission (objective goal)? And his flaw or weakness that threatens the success of the mission?

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    11. Richiev Singularity
      2015-02-09T13:45:09+10:00Added an answer on February 9, 2015 at 1:45 pm

      The star guardians are called or is there a specific star guardian that the movie follows that may want to stop the bad guy for personal reasons.

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    12. Richiev Singularity
      2015-02-09T13:45:09+10:00Added an answer on February 9, 2015 at 1:45 pm

      The star guardians are called or is there a specific star guardian that the movie follows that may want to stop the bad guy for personal reasons.

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    13. [Deleted User]
      2015-02-09T13:11:19+10:00Added an answer on February 9, 2015 at 1:11 pm

      How do we know the antagonists are dangerous like you say? What specifically are they trying to do that presents a danger to the protagonsists?

      And what’s at stake? What happens if the Star Guardians fail to defeat them? Do they take over the entire galaxy? Do they destroy or conquer the home planet of the Star Guardians? Whatever it is, say it.

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    14. [Deleted User]
      2015-02-09T13:11:19+10:00Added an answer on February 9, 2015 at 1:11 pm

      How do we know the antagonists are dangerous like you say? What specifically are they trying to do that presents a danger to the protagonsists?

      And what’s at stake? What happens if the Star Guardians fail to defeat them? Do they take over the entire galaxy? Do they destroy or conquer the home planet of the Star Guardians? Whatever it is, say it.

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