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mmckean
Posted: April 5, 20132013-04-05T04:15:16+10:00 2013-04-05T04:15:16+10:00In: Public

Desperate to win his ex-girlfriend back, an amateur writer experiments with mother nature to create a horror story that will make him famous. But when his experiment takes an unexpected turn for the worst, he must find a way out of a difficult predicament.

The Story Maker

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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2013-04-05T13:44:18+10:00Added an answer on April 5, 2013 at 1:44 pm

      Hey mmckean

      I was reading through this and beside needing to be a little more specific, I noticed a big problem with the logline.

      You have created two goals, The first goal is winning back his ex-girlfriend. The second goal, he needs to find a way out of a difficult predicament. (And you have a possible third goal which is to become famous)

      This takes away from the logline and adds to the word count.

      You should stick with one goal and one action to accomplish the goal.

      Hope this helped, good luck with this!

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