Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
dki4Penpusher
Posted: April 8, 20162016-04-08T00:18:49+10:00 2016-04-08T00:18:49+10:00In: SciFi

Freeze

Freeze
  • -1
  • 5 5 Reviews
  • 1,123 Views
  • 0 Followers
  • 0
Share
  • Facebook

    Post a review
    Cancel reply

    You must login to add an answer.

    Forgot Password?

    To see everything, Sign Up Here

    5 Reviews

    • Voted
    • Oldest
    • Recent
    1. Best Answer
      dpg Singularity
      2016-04-09T04:01:27+10:00Added an answer on April 9, 2016 at 4:01 am

      Agree with FFF, the premise is “very conceptual”, which is, to say too abstract to visualize.? What the visual on “conquering 5 world problems”?? What are the 5 problems?

      And why? 5?? Why not 4 or 3 or 2 or ?just 1??? Who/what has created this? apocalypse??It didn’t just happen.

      Who made the call on the 394 people to cull from the herd of 8 billion people on earth?? Who transported them, gave them the problems to solve– or else?

      Who devised this “apocalyptic game”, established completely arbitrary rules, and arbitrarily dictated who must play or perish?? And why?

      The premise relies on too much “magic”, too many?arbitrary rules and ?extraordinary?departures from the norms of the world as we know it.? It raises more questions? in my mind about how all the pieces fit together ?than interest in how it plays out.

      fwiw

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    2. Best Answer
      FFF Mentor
      2016-04-08T23:44:58+10:00Added an answer on April 8, 2016 at 11:44 pm

      In my opinion this part needs to be more clear “conquer five world problems”.

      I feel like the whole thing is very conceptual and fails to become a powerful story. Visually, what the characters do in the movie? I can’t see it.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    3. Best Answer
      Neer Shelter Singularity
      2016-04-08T14:27:35+10:00Added an answer on April 8, 2016 at 2:27 pm

      The plot in this logline is confusing.
      What world problems do they need to solve?
      Why?
      How?
      All of them at once or are they separated into groups to solve one problem per group?
      If an apocalypse has taken place, what part of the world is left for them to work on?
      If the main character is the boy, what is his goal in specific terms?
      How does him being an albino make his task harder or easier to complete? In other words what is the relevance of his skin colour?

      There are too many elements described in this logline, and as a result the plot and MC inner journey are unclear. Best to describe one plot about one main character with one goal in mind.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    4. Best Answer
      Richiev Singularity
      2016-04-08T11:07:40+10:00Added an answer on April 8, 2016 at 11:07 am

      During an apocalypse, a nine year old albino boy finds himself in an evaluation limbo with 393 people; one upper class and one lower class citizen from each country in the world, where they must conquer five world problems together in order to save the universe from destruction.
      ——

      Richiev says:?Now the next thing I would add to the logline is who’s doing the evaluation; is it God? Is it a supreme alien race? Is it future mankind… However if this is a secret or a ‘big reveal’ at the end of the movie then of course ignore this advice.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    5. Best Answer
      Richiev Singularity
      2016-04-08T09:00:41+10:00Added an answer on April 8, 2016 at 9:00 am

      The first thing I would do is choose a lead character. 394 people is way too many lead characters.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp

    Sidebar

    Stats

    • Loglines 7,997
    • Reviews 32,189
    • Best Reviews 629
    • Users 3,710

    screenwriting courses

    Adv 120x600

    aalan

    Explore

    • Signup

    Footer

    © 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
    With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.