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Agree with FFF, the premise is “very conceptual”, which is, to say too abstract to visualize.? What the visual on “conquering 5 world problems”?? What are the 5 problems?
And why? 5?? Why not 4 or 3 or 2 or ?just 1??? Who/what has created this? apocalypse??It didn’t just happen.
Who made the call on the 394 people to cull from the herd of 8 billion people on earth?? Who transported them, gave them the problems to solve– or else?
Who devised this “apocalyptic game”, established completely arbitrary rules, and arbitrarily dictated who must play or perish?? And why?
The premise relies on too much “magic”, too many?arbitrary rules and ?extraordinary?departures from the norms of the world as we know it.? It raises more questions? in my mind about how all the pieces fit together ?than interest in how it plays out.
fwiw
In my opinion this part needs to be more clear “conquer five world problems”.
I feel like the whole thing is very conceptual and fails to become a powerful story. Visually, what the characters do in the movie? I can’t see it.
The plot in this logline is confusing.
What world problems do they need to solve?
Why?
How?
All of them at once or are they separated into groups to solve one problem per group?
If an apocalypse has taken place, what part of the world is left for them to work on?
If the main character is the boy, what is his goal in specific terms?
How does him being an albino make his task harder or easier to complete? In other words what is the relevance of his skin colour?
There are too many elements described in this logline, and as a result the plot and MC inner journey are unclear. Best to describe one plot about one main character with one goal in mind.
During an apocalypse, a nine year old albino boy finds himself in an evaluation limbo with 393 people; one upper class and one lower class citizen from each country in the world, where they must conquer five world problems together in order to save the universe from destruction.
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Richiev says:?Now the next thing I would add to the logline is who’s doing the evaluation; is it God? Is it a supreme alien race? Is it future mankind… However if this is a secret or a ‘big reveal’ at the end of the movie then of course ignore this advice.
The first thing I would do is choose a lead character. 394 people is way too many lead characters.