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Cameron Pattison
Posted: September 2, 20132013-09-02T13:42:37+10:00 2013-09-02T13:42:37+10:00In: Public

Following the outbreak of a virus that wipes out the majority of the human population, a teen documents her family?s new life in quarantine and tries to protect her infected sister.

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    3 Reviews

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    1. Alexpsmith Penpusher
      2013-09-02T19:30:06+10:00Added an answer on September 2, 2013 at 7:30 pm

      A SMITH 5 Things your logline can’t survive without…..FUNCTION, WEAKNESS,INSIGHTING INCIDENT, GOAL AND STAKES………. This idea sounds like a begining of a story, A set up to break out of quarantine and save the world…….I think your protag needs to shoot higher goal wise, otherwise the sister could just write a journal…………..Remember the bare bones theory and logon…………………….

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    2. Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai
      2013-09-03T16:00:10+10:00Added an answer on September 3, 2013 at 4:00 pm

      Your protagonist’s goal is a bit muddied by “documenting her family’s new life”. Keep it primal, focused. The goal surely is to protect her sister? What is the end-goal of protecting her sister – as in, does that mean she’s going to try and find a cure for the virus, or is there another threat attacking her sister while someone else tries to cure her? Who is your protagonist protecting her sister from?

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    3. Tor Dollhouse
      2013-09-04T14:59:09+10:00Added an answer on September 4, 2013 at 2:59 pm

      PROS
      – Strong visual event.
      – Impending confrontation with close relationship.

      CONS
      – Doesn’t clearly specify use of found footage element.
      – Lack of specific goal other than to survive.

      The writer demonstrates an innate ability to deliver the story from their perspective but leads to a watered down logline that may cause issues with producers who are looking to check every element beforehand.

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