PESTE
Following the outbreak of a virus that wipes out the majority of the human population, a teen documents her family?s new life in quarantine and tries to protect her infected sister.
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PROS
– Strong visual event.
– Impending confrontation with close relationship.
CONS
– Doesn’t clearly specify use of found footage element.
– Lack of specific goal other than to survive.
The writer demonstrates an innate ability to deliver the story from their perspective but leads to a watered down logline that may cause issues with producers who are looking to check every element beforehand.
Your protagonist’s goal is a bit muddied by “documenting her family’s new life”. Keep it primal, focused. The goal surely is to protect her sister? What is the end-goal of protecting her sister – as in, does that mean she’s going to try and find a cure for the virus, or is there another threat attacking her sister while someone else tries to cure her? Who is your protagonist protecting her sister from?
A SMITH 5 Things your logline can’t survive without…..FUNCTION, WEAKNESS,INSIGHTING INCIDENT, GOAL AND STAKES………. This idea sounds like a begining of a story, A set up to break out of quarantine and save the world…….I think your protag needs to shoot higher goal wise, otherwise the sister could just write a journal…………..Remember the bare bones theory and logon…………………….