Penpusher
Posted: 2013-09-24T08:47:35+10:00 In:

Four average-joe teenage boys join a secret anti-terrorist association. Now they must fight against terrorism plots on the streets of Seattle from a pernicious terrorist and his nefarious army of agents before it?s too late.

Battle in Seattle

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    3 Reviews

    1. Penpusher

      Hi,

      I think the previous comments about giving your heroes a talent is valid. Why would the group recruit average joes? I like the idea of hackers, up to you though.

      I’m not sold on the title for an action thriller, it’s a bit gimmicky. Just my opinion

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    2. Singularity

      What wilsondownunder said. The premise doesn’t seem credible.

      That is, that “average joes” would be recruited or allowed to enlist to go up against a “penicious” terrorist and his “nefarious” army. Reads like 4 lambs going to the slaughter before the end of Act 1. FADE OUT… CREDIT ROLL…

      “Average Joes” who against their will and intention find themselves up against a “pernicious” terrorist and his “nefarious” army, who MUST develop the skills and strength to survive and prevail (character arc) — that’s a different story. And more credible.

      But since this is the 3rd time you’ve posted this logline, it doesn’t seem to be the one you want to tell. Good luck.

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    3. Singularity

      Okay, I’m going to do a semi-flip flop.

      The only way I personally could buy the original premise of a super secret organization recruiting 4 “average-joe” teens is if the “joes” discover their recruitment is a setup, that they are sacrificial lambs being led to the killing floor. They must fight to stay alive and find out who set them up and why.

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