Somebody That I Used To Know
Nicholas Andrew HallsSamurai
Hoping to win her affection, an emotionally stunted middle-manager plans a 21st birthday party for the sister of his recently deceased best friend.
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I know this is a little off track but this premise could be turned into a comedy if her brother returned as a ghost and didn’t like the lead hitting on his sister.
Potential title: Dude! that’s my sister!
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As for your loglne I think it has all the elements. if you could up the stakes a bit, add a rival for her affection it might help.
But we see the protagonists problem. He’s hitting on the sister way to soon after his friends death. He wants her but doesn’t want to be seen as a creep; internal conflict rather than an overtly external one.
I am curious what others think.
Hope that helped, good luck with this!
There definitely needs to be a rival.
I not sure how “…of his recently deceased best friend” fits into the dramatic equation. They were only best friends? The guy was never romantically attracted to her? Or he was trying to get to the surviving sister through friendship with her dearly departed sister?
I’m not sure I follow your question, dpg.
The protagonist’s best friend has recently died, and the protagonist is romantically interested in the dead guy’s sister. That’s how it ties in. There is no dead sister.
Also, the friend’s death provides the catalyst for the story, thus its inclusion in the logline.
Does that clear things up at all?
What if, instead of a rival, I included a deadline to heighten stakes?
Something like if the protagonist has returned home specifically for the purposes of comforting his friend’s family, and only has a couple weeks? That way there’s a ticking clock, and it clarifies the idea of “why pursue this girl now? Why not just give her a few months to grieve her brother?”
Do you think that could work? I just feel like adding a rival will change the tone of the film?
It’s got potential, but seems to fall over in a few places — if the goal is to ‘get the girl’, his plan to do this by way of impressing her with his mighty organisational skills sees a bit off. What if she charged him with organising the funeral for her brother? His then got a constant reminder of the best friend to rack him with guilt over his lustful thoughts… just a thought.
I also agree with the points raised in regards for the need of a competitor — In the world of Romantic Comedy (which is the genre I get from the logline) this is almost a must — if not, there needs to be a strong antagonist to the goal of getting the girl … I’m not sure if ’emotionally stunted’ is strong enough in this regard… Obviously in the past the main block to the girl would’ve been her brother — but seeing as he’s dead now….
You could also have a look at his occupation — middle level management is pretty broad — middle management for a small cleaning company is a far cry from middle management for a large multinational conglomerate.
Anyway — hope any of that helps. Best of luck.
Doh! Read deceased “best friend” as a girl, not a guy. (Those kind of relationships do happen, if not typical.)
I agree that ’emotionally stunted’ and ‘middle manager’ are a bit open-ended. What is actually wrong with him emotionally (what is his flaw?) What is his actual job? And why does he have to do this for the girl now?