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Patrick
Posted: December 23, 20122012-12-23T06:34:05+10:00 2012-12-23T06:34:05+10:00In: Public

Oscar remembers his past and wonders why he is still a loser. That is until he meets the woman of his dreams.

Losers

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    4 Reviews

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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2012-12-23T08:18:34+10:00Added an answer on December 23, 2012 at 8:18 am

      There is still no conflict in this logline.

      What is Oscar’s goal and what is standing in his way. You haven’t described the main conflict of the story.

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    2. sharkeatingman
      2012-12-24T01:03:15+10:00Added an answer on December 24, 2012 at 1:03 am

      This is more of a “tagline”, which is an advertising tool. A “logline” sums up the concept in 30 words or less, and should contain a protagonist, a specific antagonist, the goals, the obstacles, the “hook”, the stakes, some irony, and an idea of the genre.

      Geno Scala (sharkeatingman) judge…

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    3. Patrick
      2012-12-24T07:44:26+10:00Added an answer on December 24, 2012 at 7:44 am

      I really appreciate the assistance Gentlemen.

      How about this one?

      During the course of his routine loser life, Oscar, meets the woman of his dreams, and must convince himself and his friends that she?s the one.

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    4. Richiev Singularity
      2012-12-24T10:24:59+10:00Added an answer on December 24, 2012 at 10:24 am

      That is closer but if he has to convince himself she is the woman of his dreams she probably isn’t, I would word that different.

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