The Pregnancy Race
President Hauter has to choose ? use illegal methods to ensure continued peace and stability in her region, or stand by and allow women and infants? lives be endangered. After the Zero Birth Years, scientists designed artificial wombs and solved the crisis of global infertility. Now a company has developed hormonal treatments that have jolted five women into fertility and potential motherhood. And they're running a competition to see if one of them can survive pregnancy and childbirth.
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Children of Men meets Hunger Games?
There?s an interesting dystopian vibe about your logline but honestly, the first part of your logline feels disconnected to the second part. How they relate to each other feels muddled ? the human race has a fertility problem so babies are raised in vitro via artificial wombs. Then a company discovers a hormonal treatment that may be the answer to fertility but the 5 pregnant test subjects have to compete to be the one to bring a child to term? Why can only one woman bring her baby to term? Also, the choice of a president as the protag feels a little passive ? a president is active by legislating ? not the most cinematically engaging. Unless your president does some actual ass-kicking 🙂
Protag ? President Hauter
Goal ? prevent the pregnant Hunger Games?
Antag ? company that wants to hold the pregnant Hunger Games
Stakes – ? If Hauter prevents pregnant Hunger Games then babies still can be born in vitro, so back to square one
Hook ? ? pregnant Hunger Games
Just a thought: what if the villain (the hormonal treatment company) sells the fertility treatment to those who can pay (the 1%) and hold a lottery for the commoners (the 99%) and those chosen compete in a type of competition to get pregnant?
Best of luck!
Also, take a look at the movie “Children of Men” … similar concept (humanity cannot reproduce in the future).
I think all the comments so far have a good point. The log line is far too long and people may not read it all as it looks a lot on the page. I wander if you even need the opening line or two and instead find a way to push them into one and and get to the main story of the film almost immediately.
Hope this helps.
Hey guys, I agree mostly with what has been said above, although I think Jim’s logline is too vague to work. It only really suggests an inciting incident.
Regarding the original logline – who is the protagonist? What is their goal, and what happens if they fail? You’ve already got your hook, and it’s a neat one, but you need to nail down the other essential components first.
Hey Anne!
Interesting concept, but sounds like we need to narrow down the focus (I agree with Richiev’s comment above). But all is not lost! We just need to trim this baby down … for a logline, we want to shoot for one line, two lines max!
One idea that crossed my mind was — if there’s only five women (in the world) who can give birth, then wouldn’t there be a bidding war of some sort? Or wouldn’t their lives be in danger with all these men (or corporations/institutions) tracking them down for their own?
So how does the following sound to you? If it’s far off, then let’s work this back and forth until you’re happy.
“To solve the global infertility crisis, President Hauter’s decision to greenlight a breakthrough hormonal treatment has put the lives of five women and the world in danger.”
Let me know your thoughts! Thanks!
I am confused by how the first part of your logline and the second part connect.
You have a company trying to save the human race by discovering how to allow women to have children after something seems to have prevented fertility in the human race.
You have a president who is trying to stop something bad happening to women and children.
How do those two things connect?