Posted: 2015-04-28T22:52:21+10:00 In:

Raani a 3rd grade school going girl from a poor family who always lies to her friends about her father, his job outside the country , and his soon expected return to home ; accepts the reality that her father is dead , and he will not come back ever.

Raani

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    5 Reviews

    1. Your answer really helped me !cheers!!!!

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    2. Thank you very much , DPG …

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    3. Singularity

      “It seems to me this is a european/author movie so I don?t know if the rule state the goal and stakes? should be respected.”

      The conventions of story telling apply regardless of nationality and geography these are universal and true to all humans. In short the answer is a resounding yes, state the goal and have stakes.

      P.S
      This is not a rule rather a convention that has been found to work more often than the alternatives. If the writer aims to sell the story and engage a large portion of the viewing audience then it would be best advised to comply with these conventions.

      Hope this helps.

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    4. Mentor

      One more logline’s rule: don’t use names (names means nothing) http://www.raindance.org/10-tips-for-writing-loglines/

      It seems to me this is a european/author movie so I don’t know if the rule “state the goal and stakes” should be respected. If some kind of goal or stakes are involved then it would be useful to include them in the logline. An inciting event would be useful and appreciated too.

      “When a 8 years old girl from a poor family changes school, she made up a fake father to be proud of, only to learn that she must accept the reality to make true friends”.

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    5. Singularity

      The logline suggests a story with a moving human predicament.

      However, as written, it seems to give away the ending, how the poor girl’s predicament is ultimately resolved: she realizes and accepts that he’s dead, never coming back. One of the rules of writing a logline is not to give away the ending.

      Or realizing that her father is dead may be the jumping off point for the rest of the story. I’m not sure.

      What is the story really about? What she must do after she realizes her father’s dead? Or how she evades reality with lies and self-delusion until harsh reality forces her to deal with the truth? I suggest the logline needs a polish to clarify the story line.

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