A Fury Unleashed (rev 3)
jdePenpusher
The awakening of ancient powers in a young woman sparks an age-old war amongst mankind's original creators, over who controls the earth.
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Well-written logline – although somewhat vague.
Also, check it out: this type of fantasy epic rarely works without the basis of a bestselling novel…
It reads quite generic. We surely don’t get any idea of the main character. Why is this young woman an interesting character to lead an epic feature? I get that this is an ‘ordinary character in extraordinary circumstances’ but we may need to know a little more to get truly excited.
What are her powers?
Who are these creators? Are they like the Greek gods? Or the Scandinavians? Or monsters? Aliens?
And who does the woman need to defeat in this war?
Finally, ‘age-old’ sounds like it could take a pretty damn long time before it’s over… Why now? Is there a ticking clock?
I’ve been having a lot of difficulty with this logline. How does one get the story world into the logline? Or am I going about it the wrong way and should instead be focusing solely on character when devising the logline?
When I look at the logline for the Matrix on imdb it seems a bit vague to me: “A computer hacker learns from mysterious rebels about the true nature of his reality and his role in the war against its controllers.”
I’m thinking I probably should leave out the story world and strictly focus on the players involved and create a screenplay that keeps you guessing at the nature of the conflict.