The hunt for a spy takes a twist when an innocent bystander in a public park is mistaken for a government agent. (short film)
kbfilmworksSamurai
The hunt for a spy takes a twist when an innocent bystander in a public park is mistaken for a government agent. (short film)
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Thanks, guys. I think ‘everybody mistakes everybody else’ hits the nail on the head.
Revised Logline: In a game of kill or be killed, an innocent bystander is mistakenly identified as an enemy agent by a spy who is himself desperate to evade identification.
I like Tony Edward’s take.?? The hook? for me? is that everybody mistakes everybody else.
“When on his lunch break a courier finds himself embroiled in an International Spy hunt when the hunted spy mistakes him for the government agent on his tail.”
Above is just an example of getting it more specific – fwiw n’all dat…. Just giving the ‘innocent bystander’ an occupation etc… With your most recent draft you have plenty of words up your sleeve — why not use ’em?
Anyway — it sounds cool. Sounds like it has feature potential…
Many thanks, guys. The comments are much appreciated and very useful.
I think I need to offer a few details in order to respond to the various issues that’ve been raised.
The setup is presented by way of a prologue that also serves as the logline:
(Newly revised version) An innocent bystander finds himself in grave danger when a spy mistakes him for a government agent.
There?s a group of 4 people in contained environs. One of them is a spy and one could be a gov?t agent out to get him, but at the outset they both remain unidentified.
The dramatic questions that drive the narrative are: who is the spy? who is the gov’t agent?? and who is the innocent bystander that gets mistaken for a gov’t agent?
The point being that – in the real world – it?s practically impossible for the casual observer to recognize an espionage professional at work. And sometimes, under extreme pressure in a game of kill or be killed, the paranoia that is part of the spy’s requisite skills can lead him or her to believe that a random face in the crowd is a member of the opposing team.
In the last scene, after the others have left, the innocent bystander is found murdered. How do we know he?s an innocent bystander and not a gov?t agent? Because a man who is identified as a gov?t agent turns up after everyone has left and he says so.
We never learn the identity of the spy, so it remains?a mystery.
I agree with what’s already been said above — My main issue is that I’m confused as to the scenario and the roles of the main characters (which kinda means I’m just confused…); is the ‘Government Agent’ the hunter of the spy? As in, does the innocent bystander get mistaken for the Spy Hunter? If so, what is at stake for the innocent bystander (who does come across as the Main character ATM)?
If the REAL spy hunter is the protag, regardless of the fact they get the least amount of screentime, i think the logline would benefit from leading with them.
Also — I think getting more specific around “…takes a twist…” would help with a quick understanding of this short… I’m left not knowing what specifically the ‘twist’ is… yes, a case of mistaken identity… but what impact does this have upon the hunt for a spy?
Best of luck kbfilmworks.
Agreeing with the previous reviews, my first question was who is the main character.
I’m a fan of spy movies in general, so good luck!
Agree with FFF.? If it’s an experimental film that defies the usual conventions, then the usual conventions for a logline probably won’t apply.? Having the designated protagonist off screen until the last scene?indicates to me that you are trying?a unconventional approach.? Okay,? and if it works, it works.? But as I am a (hopelessly) conventional guy,? I’m ill-equipped to suggest?any tweaks to the logline.
Best wishes with your project.
Unless it is an “experimental” short film, I think the logline should have all the main elements, so I would write from the point of view of the main character, I would identify a clear inciting event, and I would include the conflict that create the action we see in the short film.
“When an innocent bystander is mistaken for a gouvernement agent… ” then what happens ?
Thanks, dpg. Very incisive question, as usual.
The hunter/government agent is the protagonist. Although we don’t meet him till the last scene, his need drives the narrative. The innocent bystander is unaware that his identity has been mistaken until it’s too late to act. The spy/antagonist is never identified.
Who would you characterize as the protagonist, the person in the driver’s seat of the plot? ?The hunter or the innocent bystander?