The Arena
Jaybird1091Logliner
The last married man on Earth takes on all contenders to win back his kidnapped wife on a bloody, gladiatorial game show.
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A bit of clarification… The game show kidnapped his wife?
I really liked your original log line for The Arena.
Sorry, not the original, but the one before this one.
This logline leaves me with a bunch of questions. Why is he the last married man on earth? Did people just stop getting married? Why is it important that he’s the last married man on earth (it doesn’t seem to have much to do with having to fight to get his wife back)? Why is she taken? Who are these guys he’s fighting? What makes him qualified to fight these challengers?
If I had to guess, it sounds like the Running Man with his wife as the prize if he survives.
I’d just focus on making the concept more cohesive. Leave out the details that confuse.
What wlubake said.
Loglines for sci-fi and fantasy genres are always challenging because the stories are about worlds where different rules. We, the readers, have no idea what those different rules are so we can make sense of the logline.
Right! There are so many details to this world which contribute in small ways to the story, but which don’t really take center stage. Without including them, it’s hard for me to avoid confusion.
The fact that they are the last married couple isn’t really central to the story, but I’ve been reading about the concept of “irony,” and was trying to include some.
Is there a better way of going about this? This is the first logline I’ve tried to write, and I’m tearing my hair out! Haha
The game show did kidnap his wife (the previous year’s champion wanted to goad the husband into the city for reasons of his own). It’s not really a “game show,” but more like a televised, gladiatorial contest. I’m not sure how to describe it succinctly!
Jaybird1091:
In my mind, the premise is similar to the dystopian world of “The Hunger Games” where kids are forced to compete in gladiatorial fights to the death. Of course, that premise was pre-tested in the mega-hit young adult book series. So no logline was necessary to sell the concept as a movie.
Event so, the premise for “The Hunger Games” had to have a REASON why teens were forced to fight to the death. And that reason is: it’s Panem’s way of punishing the districts for rebelling in the distant past.
In your dystopia, there has to be a REASON why such gladiatorial games shows even exist. What is it? A REASON why people are forced to compete. Which is…?
What was the REASON the wife was kidnapped? And by whom? What is the REASON he must participate in the game to liberate her?
>>>reading about the concept of irony,? and was trying to include some
Just spitballing here as I don’t have a handle on your dystopia, but if you’re looking for irony one possibility is to make him the creator-producer of the gladiator game show, some one who has garned fame and fortune out of the franchise.
Then, by some reversal of fortune, punishment for a crime, yada-yada, he must fight for his life in the very game he created.
fwiw
Great point, dpg.
The reason is complicated: the city is isolated by a force field, and largely automated. Its citizens have long ago forgotten secrets that their ancestors knew. The upshot is, nobody understands the technology that makes their city work.
Turns out, this was the intention of the city’s founders (this is all backstory which BARELY even appears in the script itself–too boring). These founders programmed holographic “gods” based on revolutionary, Artificial Intelligence technology. These fake gods demand that The Arena take place annually in their honor (the founders intended it to clear the streets of lowlifes and thin the population), and since nobody realizes they’re just holograms, everyone obeys.
Jake, our protagonist, lives outside the city. He’s one of the few living men who can work with Old Age Tech (such as artificial intelligence software). He programs an AI named Simon, whom he surgically implants into his brain, allowing him to calculate physics with mathematical precision. Word reaches a citizen of the city–last year’s winner of The Arena–who kidnaps Jake’s wife to goad him into playing the game. This previous champion wants to dissect the technology in Jake’s head so he can control the fake gods and rule the city.
Now how to cram all that into one logline…? Haha
I REALLY want that complicated back-story to stay BACK of the STORY. This isn’t a concept-driven tale; it’s character-driven. It’s not about gods and politics and cool sci-fi tech. It’s about a man, his love for his wife, and the unbelievable lengths to which he will go to save her. Rather than “The Hunger Games,” I’d compare this script to “Taken.” THAT’s the emotion I want to get across in this logline! 🙂 thank you all so much for your help!!!!!
>>> These founders programmed holographic gods? based on revolutionary, Artificial Intelligence technology
This I like. A LOT! A polytheistic religion built on and enforced by holograms. COOL! And they demand human sacrifices in the form of the games.
A suggestion: why not make Jake a techno-savvy ‘true-believer’ within the city who DISCOVERS, stumbles upon the truth, pierces the illusion — a la Dorothy in “The Wizard of Oz”. But before he can reveal it, disable the holograms, liberate everyone else, he is thrown into the arena?
>>>character driven…
What greater test of character is there then conflict between people who love each other? Ergo, after he sees through the holograms, he tries to persuade her. Of course, she’s doesn’t believe him. And it’s her religious duty is to turn him in for heresy, apostacy. But she loves him. She is torn between faith and love.
Eventually love triumphs over blind faith. Now she has to do something that will help him survive the game — and deliver everyone from the delusion.
fwiw
OOOOOOOhhhhhhh ok, ok.
I like that idea!!!!!!!! At the beginning of my script as it now stands, Jake tries to rally support from the people of his town to rescue Emma (his wife), but EVERYONE–even his own brother!!!!–deserts him, a la “High Noon.” He’s the only dude with the balls to even ENTER the city.
The scene where he and his brother split ways is (hopefully) brutal and powerful. But I think I can incorporate your idea and retain that emotion, like this:
“The Arena” is largely considered to be a way to get rid of the unwanted members of society. No one in Jake’s class (the middle class) would dream of entering. BUT it’s an honor for the woman to be chosen as grand prize. Jake discovers the truth about the gods when he invents is own AI technology (reason: the holographic gods use motion-blur to trick the eye like an old-fashioned 2D image, but they’re only broadcasting at 24FPS. When Simon is installed in Jake’s brain, he can analyze the images Jake’s eyes capture, and since the human eye runs much faster than 24FPS, he determines the “gods” aren’t real).
Once Jake discovers this, Roy–last year’s champion, the only other citizen who knows the truth–uses his influence to toss Emma into the game, thereby forcing Jake to play.
Jake tries his best to persuade Emma not to leave him, but when he reveals what he knows, she doesn’t believe, and joins the game anyway.
Now Jake not only has to overcome the game, but he has to do it IN SPITE of the woman he loves!
It becomes a battle of the minds between Jake and Roy. Jake wins because he can calculate physics, but at the last minute, Roy turns Jake in to the authorities for cheating at the game (illegal use of Old Tech), and Jake is disqualified. Roy takes Emma, and we know already that Roy is a sick deviant who brutalizes and kills the women he sleeps with.
Plus, Roy has his surgeons implant Jake’s device in his own neck, and removes Jake’s eyes so Jake can no longer calculate physics. Then Roy uploads the “gods” program into his brain.
However, Jake has anticipated this all along. He uses Simon’s ability to calculate physics + the principle of echolocation to retain his “vision.” He has also uploaded a virus into the “gods” program, causing Roy’s death.
The force field surrounding the city collapses, its automated systems die, Emma finally believes, Jake gets the girl, and he gets out of there.
Yeah, you got a complicated story. But a logline is a selling tool, not an summary of the entire plot; it’s about selling the sizzle, not the steak. And I think you have a lot of sizzle in the concept of ‘Holygrams’ — holograms foisted off as gods. It has the makings of a great hook, an interesting story.
Since it evokes a different story line in my mind than in yours — and it’s your story — I can’t think of how to boil your vision down to a 25-30 word logline. But good luck with your idea. It’s a potentially killer concept, imho.
One more thought: reverse roles and make the woman the techno-smart protagonist. Imho, most sci-fi films are s-o-o-o sexist: women are little more than set decorations. There are s-o-o-o many women actors who would kill for a good role where they don’t have to play 2nd fiddle to men, sex-accessorized ally/lovers, hapless victims needing to be rescued by men.