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holbrook99
Posted: March 18, 20152015-03-18T20:35:16+10:00 2015-03-18T20:35:16+10:00In: Public

The only straight player on an otherwise all-gay football team is engaged to the daughter of a homophobic dinosaur, who just so happens to be the league?s top referee.

Switching Sides

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    3 Reviews

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    1. FFF Mentor
      2015-03-18T20:42:59+10:00Added an answer on March 18, 2015 at 8:42 pm

      Hello, the idea is good ! Sounds funny. I think you should include something about what is the goal of the hero. In your logline it seem to me that the situation is too static, even if I can easily imagine there can be a lot of potential conflict. Tell what’s the story is about.

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    2. dpg Singularity
      2015-03-18T22:09:03+10:00Added an answer on March 18, 2015 at 10:09 pm

      The logline describes a situation, but not a plot.

      What is the dramatic problem that arises from the situation?
      What is the inciting incident of that problem?
      As a result of the problem, what must the protagonist do? What becomes his objective goal?
      What are the stakes? What does he stand to gain if he succeeds, lose if he fails to achieve his objective goal?

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    3. 2015-03-19T01:52:40+10:00Added an answer on March 19, 2015 at 1:52 am

      I agree about the missing objective.

      Your situational elements seem to imply an objective but, you don’t state it.

      The title, SWITCHING SIDES implies a coming out story, so if that is your story, please come out and tell us about your MC’s journey.

      Maybe,

      After deciding to announce his sexual preference, an honest, football player must break off his engagement to the daughter of the league’s top referee without jeopardizing his team’s chance in the league championship.?

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